"If we hope to create a non-violent world where respect and kindness replace fear and hatred, we must begin with how we treat each other at the begining of life. For that is where our deepest patterns are set. From these roots grow fear and alienation or love and trust."
Suzanne Arms

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Keepin It Real


Perception is 9/10ths of reality

I am sure you have heard that statement before, and it is particularly true when it comes to the internet and people on the internet.

Why?  Because perception is often not necessarily truth.  I read peoples blogs, or I look at their facebook pictures and I get this idea in my head of what they must be like or what their life or family is like, but I have to remind myself that it isn’t always accurate (actually when I start feeling inferior I remind myself that a few pictures don't show the whole picture).  

 I try very hard to represent myself in an accurate way, in fact I tend to write too much in an effort to fully explain myself, to leave nothing out, to be as honest as I can and so that I am not misunderstood. I share my thoughts, feelings, opinions etc. because I like to help to educate, empower, enlighten, support and maybe sometimes because I have things on my chest that we want to vent about or things I just  feel compelled to share.  Many times the things about which I ‘wax eloquent’ are for myself as much as for anyone else reading (especially when it comes to parenting).  I often don’t share or talk about negative, because usually, that doesn’t accomplish the goal.  I mean why would I want to write a whole post venting about how my bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in a month! (and geez, who wants to read it?)  Or why would I feel compelled to write about how, the last 6mo, we've been buying the store brand mac-n-cheese instead of the Annies we used to buy.  Is that something I really want to share with the world or think that the world wants to know?  

But despite the fact that these ‘imperfections’ about our life (or my perceived imperfections, or areas that I may ideally like to improve on) may not make for great reading, they are in fact, part of life!!

I may write a blog post where I share some really cool craft we made, and info on how we made it.  What I don’t share is how many times I had clean glue off the baby, how many times I lost my patience with the toddler or that the mess made by the craft, stayed on the kitchen table for 3 days!!  The point isn’t to share the negative (oh woe is me what a mess) the point is to share some cool things we do!!  

I cannot tell you how many cool pictures I’d love to share on the blog or on facebook but I don’t because either there is a huge mess in the background, food on the wall, or a naked kid!!  In fact when trying to get video of Dagyn walking, I had to specifically put pants on him (because he is often naked) and clean the room so that the video would be one I could share, LOL!!  Sad I know, but I’m sure many of y'all can relate.   I mean who wants to share pictures and video where the house looks like it was hit by a hurricane?

And lets not even mention the times we lose our cool with the kids, or we realize that they have been watching TV for hours, or playing video games since they woke up, or are wearing the same clothes for 3 days in a row, or . . .  low and behold . . .  are drinking SODA!!

As I said, this is life!! (the good, bad and embarrassing)  And if I am so concerned with giving an accurate representation of myself and family then I would share some of this stuff too.  And because, I know that sometimes reading about others ‘failures’, imperfections or areas in which they would like to improve, just reaffirms that they are human and . . . “hey, maybe we are not so different after all”.

I mean, none of us is perfect, as much as we wish we were.  When it comes to “natural living” I have certain things I am absolutely steadfast on, where I don’t like to budge at all!!  But there are some things where I will compromise, and others where I fall off the wagon completely, and that is OK.  I say I am on a journey and I will NEVER EVER find an end to that.  We do the best we can with where we are in life, if we can do better we will, if not . . . well, it's not the end of the world (which is something I keep having to reminding myself ;0).

So in an effort to 'Keep it Real', from time to time (when I feel lead) I am going to share some things that I wouldn’t normally think or be inclined to share (be it a messy house, or the TV in the bedroom or the fact I eat ice cream every evening) so that anyone who may have a perception of perfection here, or who may think I am the 'queen of all things natural' can see that we are just like everyone else, a normal family doing the best we can!

I’ll start with somethings about me that I have mentioned before (and is no biggy to those who know me).  Not that these are bad things, but sometimes people get a perception of "natural" gals like me, looking a certain way (stereotypical, peace, love, hippy) . . . . . so for those who haven’t met me or seen many pictures . . . 

Yes, I DO  wear make up (and I won’t be caught dead in public without it, though I am finally starting to experiment with making my own) I say my vanity is a benefit to those who have to look at me! ;0)

Yes, I DO shave my legs (even my thighs . . . even in the winter!!) and of course I shave my pits too!

No, I don’t wear flowy skirts all the time (though I love them and do wear them to church). I like my Jeans the best!  Though in my defense, I do stick with mostly cotton clothes.  And I only own 1 pair of Birkenstocks but I like never wear them (so that stereotype is out the window with me).

And when you see a picture of me and I have one of those bandanas or a scarf on my head (which is OFTEN).  It is NOT because I am trying to look cool or something (though I do like how it looks) it is “usually” because I haven’t washed my hair in several weeks and it looks like crap!!

Just Keepin it Real

A not so great picture of me . . . with dirty hair!! (but lets just focus on the sweet baby I am wearing ;0)

4 comments:

  1. Oh dear! Sorry I shared a pic of you that you didn't think was flattering, but I thought you looked beautiful as always.

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    1. Ha Ha!! I was wondering if you would see this, LOL!! I love that picture! I don't think it is the most flattering, I don't like my nose, but I generally think that most pictures of me with my hair up or back are not the best (and to be honest, I almost never like my nose ;0).

      I know you and know how picky you are about looking good, so I figured, if you thought it was good enough to share it was good enough for me!! I think I even had it as my FB profile pic for a while.

      Actually, I have TONS of pictures of me with a bandana on my head, but VERY few that are close up of just my face (usually I am with others or posing with a Kozy on or something) so I thought this was the best one to put on here (and notice, I am still wearing a Kozy, LOL). And I liked too how you could see my make up and everything (and I actually still had lipstick on, LOL) so it was a good example of what I was talking about in the post.

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  2. I like this. There is something humanizing about seeing people in the "real." It's often messy, but it's authentic and I think we crave that. During my podcasts I get real about my mistakes as a parent. I get some of the best feedback from that.

    Great post!

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