(me wearing my newborn niece in my favorite Wrapsody wrap by Gypsymama)
There have been a slew of news reports lately about the safety of wearing your baby in slings. You know I find it kind of ironic that we have to even discuss the safety of the ancient art of babywearing in an age where we speed down the highway at 60mph on a daily basis! I mean babywearing is almost as old as giving birth! For as long as women have been having babies they have been tying them onto their bodies with whatever they had handy so that they can go about their work while meeting their baby's needs. You don't often hear mainstream moms and 'professionals' calling strollers, car seats or cribs dangerous (minus of course any recalled our outdated items). But babywearing (not the norm in our culture, thus people are suspicious of it) is often ignorantly questioned in regards to safety. How about runaway strollers, babies crawling out of car seats which were placed on high surfaces, falling off of changing tables etc.? These accidents are chalked up to 'user error' with no screaming to condemned these baby 'gadgets' as inherently dangerous (after all, without a crib where would baby sleep?). I am not even going to get into things like stairs, the cords from blinds, pots of boiling water on the stove, buckets of water in the garage, pets and many other things that tragically cause the death of babies and children every year.
My day old niece in a custom Kozy
All of the babywearers I know can relate to being stopped by 'well meaning' people who are freaked out that our babies are either terribly uncomfortable, going to be dropped, or can't breathe. And if it isn't one of those 3, then we are spoiling them (I need a little eye roll face to insert here). Somehow it is overlooked that perhaps the safest (not to mention the most natural) place for our babies to spend the majority of their time is right next to our body! Though I will say, it is almost hard to blame people for the ignorant thinking about babywearing. It is simply a cultural thing here in the US (other countries and cultures view it differently, just as they do things like co-sleeping, extended nursing, elimination communication etc.). It is also peoples inability to think naturally, or even outside of their mainstream, society constructed box. Perhaps some day babywearing will become the norm here and no longer viewed as a 'fad' or something that is inherently dangerous.
I would think that it was nice for all these strangers to be so concerned with the well being of my babies, but in reality a lot of these people are just busy bodies who are nosy and relish in the negative. Don't believe me, just look at the obsession we have with reality TV!
Wearing Thrace 5 wks in the type of wrap mentioned above this one is a HugABub
Sure, certain aspects of babywearing may look questionable (like throwing a baby on your back in the parking lot, having them covered in fabric, or having a sleeping baby with a dangling head, which inevitably happens when I have a baby on my back in a wrap) but I am of the opinion that while I try my hardest to make babywearing look good for the skeptics (and I do, ask my friends, I am SUPER picky about how I look babywearing) there is only so much I can do.
(left) 4 wk old Thrace in one of my favorite wrap brands, Gypsymama
But enough of me ranting about our ignorant societies views on the ancient tradition of babywearing.
I am mostly writing in response to the statement released by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warning about slings. It is absolutely horrifying to think of any baby dying or being harmed while being worn. But unfortunately it has happened, though as was stated, most of these babies were either premature or 'compromised' in some way or another (and I often wonder if any had been vaccinated recently, but that is for another blog). Regardless, any death or injury is tragic regardless of the circumstances. This is information that really needs to be shared. People need to know what slings are good and the proper way to use them. As a manufacturer my goal is to help parents and babies to bond, to make parenting easier and babies happier and this is the goal of all the other babywearing manufacturers I know (and I know a lot).
2 wk old Ever in the Bei Bei
Basic one shoulder slings are the target of this specific statement as are babies under 4mo (which is why I have pictures of me wearing newborns throughout this post). It is actually well written for the most part and has good information. The downside is that it gives more fuel to the fire for those who already, in their ignorance, viewed babywearing as unsafe. (hence my rant above) And the news stations have picked up on the story and there have been numerous reports and stories both on TV and online spreading misinformation. You know how things get started and kind of snowball out of control and leave me yelling at the TV or computer trying to 'right' the 'wrongs' which is such a pointless action since I know they can't hear me (but I just can't help myself). There are now moms who will abandon any though of babywearing and the many babies who will now end up in strollers or buckets away from the arms of the ones they need most. I have already read far too many comments from moms whose friends and family are using this recent statement by the CPSC as justification their negative comments and thoughts on babywearing. For those adamantly against babywearing, a statement like this is sure to be used to discourage it in favor of less intuitive, less attached and nurturing forms of transporting baby around. And I for one do not believe that strollers or buckets are safer . . . babies in our society need to be drawn closer to us, not pushed further away.
When it comes to slings and safety, the issue is almost always user error. If a sling appears unsafe, or if a baby gets in a compromising position it is not the sling at fault, because they can be used correctly. Most of the slings and carriers on the market are well designed. There is only 1 type of sling I know of that is a poor design and full of flaws and that is the 'bag style' sling like the one made by Infantino (among others) and can often be found at big box stores. This link explains the issues and the inherent design flaws http://babyslingsafety.blogspot.com/ These 'bag' slings though are vastly different from your basic ring sling or pouch which are not structured and which have fabric that can be moved around to get baby into a good position. And it is easy to do, especially if you have good instructions to follow. What is unfortunate is that the word "sling" is being used as a sweeping term to describe any 1 shoulder carrier, and they are NOT all created equal. Even consumer reports is not recommending slings because of the issues with the Infantino Sling Rider, which is as I said, a bag style sling which has design flaws and is vastly different from a ring sling or pouch. Until people become educated about babywearing and see it as a viable option (not a crazy, hippy trend) there will always be misinformation and misunderstandings.
Wearing 2 wk old Arah in a Kangaroo Korner lightly padded ring sling
So the questions are . . . how do you know you have a good sling and how to you use it properly?
Finding a good sling.
It isn't hard to find a good sling. Like I said above, most slings are safe to use, the only type of sling I know of that I cannot recommend is the "bag" style sling shown in the link above. But despite the fact that most slings can be used safely, some brands are just easier to use and adjust and made better than others. A well fitted pouch, ring sling, mei tai, wrap or structured carrier should be able to be used properly without any concern as to the safety of your child. There are plenty of smaller wahm companies that make excellent quality products. Occasionally there people selling online (usually places like ebay and the like) who may ignorantly be using inferior materials or stitching, it isn't super common but it does happen. If you are concerned about the quality of a product then look for names from reputable companies with positive reviews and feedback. Companies that are well talked about and trusted. Just because you can find a sling at your local WalMart or Target doesn't mean it is superior to one that is only sold online. There are plenty of wonderful products and businesses that can't meet the low prices or manufacture in the high numbers required to be carried by larger chain stores. Many of us wahm's who have started businesses did so out of necessity and the slings and carriers we make were designed by trial and error with our own children. Though many wahm companies have grown quite large (hotslings, Ergo, Maya wrap just to name a few) the basic foundations are the same . . . slings and carriers designed for moms by moms, not by a large corporation. Most of us started out with 1 goal in mind . . . to help moms wear their babies. Anything else that may have come from starting a business has just been icing on the cake!
If you are looking for a good sling you can find information and reviews for slings at The Babywearer
Ever reclining in a KK adjustable pouch. (above) Notice his back is straight, head up
Tummy to tummy in same brand, different color (below)
How to properly wear your baby
A note on Personal Responsibility
Personal responsibility has often been overlooked in many areas of our society today. But ultimately, that is, or should be in the center of everything we do and all the choices we make. Life is about taking responsibility for our actions, from the moment we wake till our head hits the pillow at night. We make a million choices in a day, some of them are without any thought (do I put my left or right leg in my pants first?) some require a split second decision that is made instinctively (do I pull out into the road now or wait for that car to pass?) others require forethought and some knowledge or education on our part (how do I position my baby in this sling properly?). This is not to be overlooked when wearing our babies. A manufacturer can only provide you with a good sound product, directions and warnings, you have to be able to follow the directions and seek help if you have any issues or questions. We can take responsibility by making sure we are using these products correctly.
I like to provide info on any and all possible ways to use the Kozy so that you, the customer has full information and options. Some manufacturers don't give info on things like, how to put a newborn on your back, but I like to trust that people will take the info I provide and use it responsibly.
This is precious cargo we are carrying. It doesn't mean we have to be fearful. It doesn't mean you can't try that back carry you have been wanting to try. It simply means that you think logically. If you are inexperienced, uncomfortable or unsure you make sure you have someone spotting you and you try new carries while sitting down. Babywearing correctly is easy and if it isn't intuitive at first it becomes so once you get used to it. There is nothing more natural and nothing safer than carrying your baby!
Days old Ever nice and high and snug in the Kozy
- Make sure your baby is in a good position. A good position means that the baby is not all balled up with their back curved and their chin on their chest. It is hard for them to breathe in this position and a newborn may not be able to lift their head to get a better airway. Readjusting the baby's position or the sling (taking up slack) so that baby's chin is up and back is flat is important and it is fairly easy to do. They should be held firmly against your body. Personally, I prefer a tummy to tummy position as opposed to lying down, even with day old newborns. I find it more comfortable, easier to monitor them and easier to assure proper positioning. This can be done in most slings and carriers where you can adjust the fabric to pull them in close to your body.
- Make sure you can see baby. I like to wear my newborns up high on my chest where they are easy to monitor. Usually I will choose tummy 2 tummy but even in more of a reclining position, you should be able to have them up high enough (their bum above your belly button) where you can easily monitor their position and breathing. Lowering them to nurse is fine, just make sure you can monitor them while they are nursing and reposition them up higher after they are finished nursing. I have nursed newborns plenty of times in ring slings, wraps, and the Kozy with no issues. If you are doing a back carry with a newborn you should be able to get them high enough on your back where you can see them over your shoulder.
- Make sure the baby has an airway. Most people say to keep the fabric off of the face, and this is good general advice. But like I said above, my newborns would fuss those first few months if they couldn't tuck their head in my wrap. However, despite the fabric being over their head I was easily able to make sure they had a clear airway with no fabric lying over the front of their face or obstructing their access to fresh air, which is most important. You just want to use common sense and make sure they are not re-breathing air which can cause problems.
Days old Ever in the Kozy. He had just finished nursing and fell asleep. I didn't raise him all the way back up this time, but I did make sure he was positioned correctly with chin up.
Another good ring sling carry with 2 wk old Arah in a Zolowear
Here is an excellent article by M'liss (she wrote the babywearing 101 article for Mothering's babywearing issue) with lots of pictures on the correct, and incorrect way to position baby in various slings and carriers.
Jan from Sleeping Baby has recently put up a page about not only the difference between good slings and the potentially dangerous "bag" slings (complete with pictures of the different brands of bag slings) but she also has info on how to properly wear your ring sling. You can find it HERE. Make sure you pan down to the bottom of her page. She has a PDF she made up of business sized cards you can print and cut out to hand to those ignorant, but well meaning strangers or family members who have seen these news reports and question the safety of your sling.
Excellent job Jan!!
Babywearing International's Safety Page
I wanted to send out my thanks to the many babywearing vendors (and friends) who have been working extremely hard, spending their time and money for the past year (or more) traveling to ASTM meetings working to develop sling safety standards that will apply to all slings and carriers. They are there representing all of us smaller wahm's and manufacturers (as opposed to the big mega corporations who produce babywearing items) so that our voices, thoughts, opinions and carriers are not misunderstood and we are not overlooked. Their work on this is priceless!!
2 wk old Thrace in the Didymos
wow, it's a good thing you posted all that helpful information after what I felt was a rude rant (I particularly found the way you talked about that gentleman concerned about your baby's safety was pretty rude - like a person's concern and curiosity always means their nosy and ignorant, learn to be happy people are asking about it nevermind what their attitude seems like). It's a good thing that I like babywearing and actually read to the bottom of your post, instead of being a 'newbie' and reading the rant only and never wanting to babywear because of the superior attitude you put across. Obviously you are frustrated, then take this as your cue to educate - I think that if babywearing were to become mainstream you need to get it out there where it can be accessible to everyone, like Wal-mart and Target! Educate, promote and educate some more! If I didn't have a few friends that were avid babywearers I wouldn't know what I know about babywearing because I DON'T SEE ANYONE DOING IT (I live in a city in Canada). In my opinion, please don't make this a big issue like breastfeeding VS. formula (babywearing Vs. strollers) because as much as I think babywearing is a wonderful thing, we each have our own choices as mothers and the choices we make should not label us as 'bad mothers' if we don't do things a certain way. I personally am glad that the warnings have been put out there to save babies, yes it may bring with it mis-information, but instead of being frustrated with the roll-off you seem to be getting, take it as a HUGE opportunity to educate people - take it mainstream! The piece I saw about this warning had a WAHM that makes rings for slings advocating this warning and she was babywearing 'safely', what a GREAT opportunity she took! By the way, this is the first time I have stopped by your blog, hopefully next time it will be a little more positive experience!
ReplyDeleteEllen, wow I am sorry you thought my post was negative. Here I was thinking that as far as vents go, mine was fairly mild, LOL!! I can only assume that you have not been constantly bombarded by rude comments from strangers? Many of us hear it daily when we go out and it is certainly natural and normal for me to have a desire to vent about it (and what better place to vent than MY blog?). While it is regrettable if anyone is turned off by anything I write, I also don't apologize for the way I raise my kids, or for sharing my thoughts and feelings related to that. They are what make me who I am and sharing them is how I allow others a glimpse into my world. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with, or relate to me.
ReplyDeleteThere is a difference in curiosity and rudeness and I get both (not just on babywearing, but my family size, breastfeeding, homebirthing etc. it happens daily). I ALWAYS respond with a smile (to the curious as well as the rudest of the rude) and like I did with the man in my story (who was both curious but also a bit rude in how he came across) I always go out of my way to talk with them and answer all their questions in an attempt to educate. As you read, I said I spent 10-15 min. talking with him, if this isn't making every effort to educate I don't know what is. Usually I have the kids mulling around begging me to stop talking so we can leave,LOL !! Just because I respond with a smile on my face in a kind way, and am used to a wide range of comments (and I welcome most of them), doesn't mean I am not bothered by rude comments and feel the need at times to vent about and the overall ignorance in society when it comes to babywearing and other aspects of parenting that are not mainstream.
You are right, education is key, and it is why I am willing and happy to stop what I am doing to talk with others. I have been educating others on babywearing daily for 7 yrs. both online , in classes and videos, as well as daily as I go about life (we don't own a stroller so I am always wearing a child). You mention walmart. I have been babywearing in Walmarts across several states almost weekly since my first trip wearing a baby in walmart 9 1/2 yrs ago when my firstborn was 3 days old!! I talk the talk but also walk the walk. I do as much as I physically can, which includes spending hours on a blog post with helpful pictures, information and links (much to the dismay ofdh who sometimes complains about the time I spend sharing with others, LOL, though he does understand).
I said the safety recommendations were a GOOD thing and they are!! Educating people on the proper way to babywear is extremely important!! Providing accurate recommendations and information is important (which is what so many are working on with the ASTM safety standards for slings and carriers). Unfortunately reports like this also bring with them an onslaught of misinformation that fuels the fire of the naysayers . Just this morning I got an e-mail from a friend about a mom who was stopped 3x yesterday by people telling her "don't you know those slings are unsafe?" Being accused of putting your child in danger . . . how can that not be frustrating? But I am hoping that in the end it will spark peoples curiosity about babywearing and entice most to investigate it further (like at our 3rd Babywearing Conference, where I am speaking as I did at the last 2, www.internationalbabywearingconference.com )
It's easy to become frustrated about the way mainstream people react to baby wearing. It unfortunately clouds what may be simple curiosity. One time I had my third baby in the sling as a newborn and she was completely covered. I went to Wal-mart and the door greeter followed me all over the store and finally stopped me near the back. He said accusingly "what do you have in there?" and when I responded "a baby", he said suspiciously "what kind of baby?". I felt as if he thought I was doing something wrong and his attitude was certainly hostile.
ReplyDeleteRecently I was at Wal-mart, again, and one of the employees came up to me while I was wearing my 4th baby in a Kozy on my back. In front of my other children she addressed my one year old son and said "You must be so unhappy in there. You can't see a thing!" in a disapproving tone. I kindly explained that he could see plenty and was perfectly happy back there.
I have also had people walk behind me as I was putting on my mei tai and "help" without asking. Physically taking the straps or holding the baby on my back as if I were doing something horribly dangerous.
So I am certainly suspicious of people who may be well-meaning and just curious. Usually I am able to tell the difference, as Kelley could, after speaking with them for a bit. She also never said she was rude to them. It makes me think of the time that someone asked if my firstborn's curls were natural. What I wanted to say was that I used a hot curling iron for hours each morning to curl my 2 year old's hair. Instead I replied that they were, in fact, natural. So am I rude for thinking that?
I agree with you, as does Kelley I'm positive, that we need to educate as much as possible to make it less of an odd thing to do. (Just like breastfeeding in public!) I'm glad you are visiting Kelley's blog, and I hope you take a moment to look around to see that she's not really rude at all, just outspoken and opinionated. :-)
all your snuggly newborn bw'ing pics are making me have baby fever ;)
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing!
well I guess I would not want to hear a harsh rant than, lol. I appreciate you taking the time to explain things - like I said, this was my first time stopping by. By all means, of course you can say what you like on your blog, but playing devil's advocate - if I knew nothing of babywearing and read this, I would not have got to the practical/educational stuff due to the 'outspoken and opinionated' (as was mentioned, :)) rant.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, I do not get bombarded daily with rude comments or even any bad comments - I don't know if it's just the area I live in, but around here I've never had problems with strangers maybe a few stares or weird looks, but mostly just questions or conversations (I do BF in public and babywear on occasion when my kids were younger).
I'm glad that you are actively educating and advocating for what you believe in! What you should do is make up a brochure with the most common questions of babywearing (from the 'ignorant' people) and answers - keep them in your diaper bag and then if anyone makes comments - give them the brochure and tell them to talk to you after they finished reading it, lol. No mother should ever have to apologize for how they are raising their children (obviously as long as the children's best interest is in mind when making decisions) whether it's mainstream or not. As a side question, do you not expect to generate a lot of attention when sharing so openly about non-mainstream issues?
Kelley, thank you for using your blog to help to clear the air about safe and unsafe slings and babywearing. I wanted to tell you that I thought you did an excellent job covering the topic (and that was my plan before I read the other comments :) )
ReplyDeleteAny information I've heard about the sling safety report has been completely one-sided (anti-sling). My grandparents called me immediately upon hearing their news report, saying that "thousands of babies had died in slings like yours" (a ring sling) and that it was horribly dangerous and I needed to stop wearing my baby because she could die. Because babywearing is not mainstream, most mainstream media outlets aren't covering anything other than the dangers of "slings" as a whole category. It shouldn't be an issue with "sides;" it should be educating the public on safety and eliminating identified risks.
Hopefully all the other babywearing mamas out there will join us in using this as an opportunity to educate!
Kelly, I know, wearing newborns is one of my favorite things in the world!
ReplyDeleteMamaEm, thanks! Thousands? Try well less than 1 a year for the last 20 yrs . I spent many hours writing everything out and finding good pictures to show. This subject is very important and since this afternoon I have heard even more reports from moms getting harassed because of the recent news. It saddens and greatly frustrates me. Babywearing has come a long way in the last several years, hopefully this fearfulness won't last.
Ellen, I most definitely expect to get comments, questions and looks. And I actually welcome them (even if I do find them occasionally inappropriate and rude) because I love the opportunity to share. Dh was actually counting the number of people who were talking about us under their breath at our last trip to walmart, and I was stopped 2x (though it was about the kids, not babywearing). Usually the people who approach me (IRL or online) are really just curious and ask a ton of questions, which I love to answer! I don’t do what I do because I either like or dislike being thought of as different. I share to allow others a glimpse into my world and to open their eyes to new possibilities and for some, to empower them to listen to their instincts (whatever they may be) instead of being pressured by outside influences. I don’t personally attack others nor do I tell others what they should do. I share what *I* do it because I think it is best (otherwise I would be doing things differently) and if I have to deal with the occasional rude and ignorant comment then so be it.
I am so glad you wrote about this!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, I love your Kozy Carriers - (just bought one the other week for my first child, a son, due in a few weeks! So excited!) - and ever since that warning came out I have been checking here to see if you wrote about it yet! I just knew you would!
It really bothered me that most articles about the warning didn't differentiate between which infant carriers are the dangerous ones, they just said all slings. :(
I AM glad that something has been said about those bag slings - they are dangerous, and when I do see women babywearing (not too often) it usually in one of those.:( But also I fear that this will scare people out of babywearing altogether. And I can just see myself walking around Wal-Mart or somewhere with my son in his Kozy and someone says "Oh, baby carrying is bad, he can suffocate." Or something like that. I will have to be like you and take it as an opportunity to educate!! That is so smart! Because I know I will be offended.
Random anecdote:
My mother-in-law knows we are planning to babywear, and she was/is really into it! Then on the day the first warnings came out she sent me an article and was so worried that our baby was going to suffocate! I had to explain to her how there are lots of different kinds of carriers and not to worry because we would never use that type, and how the type we got is safe. I wasn't annoyed at her - it was really sweet that she was worried I thought, but I just feel it illustrates my point - I just know that lots of people are going to get confused - like my poor mother-in-law who just didn't know there are lots of types...
Anyway, sorry to ramble on - All I really wanted to say was YAY! I'm glad you posted about this! Thanks for an informative post! I hope more people read it. Oh, and for what it's worth, in my opinion, I didn't think it was really rude or excessively opinionated at all, for a rant! :)
Loved this post! Your blog is always a delight to me, as is my Kozy! I passed on the link on facebook and two new moms I know.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post Kelley! I bought my first Kozy Carrier back in late 2004/early 2005. I loved it and have passed it on to my babywearing friends, along with my Over The Shoulder Baby Holder, Zolowear ring sling, mei tai carrier and my beloved ERGO. So this recent "sling recall" and fear of babywearing is important to me to share and educate my all my current Mom's and pregnant friends. Babywearing is such a positive and healthy way to bond and share with our babies. I have just never understood why having our babies close to us could ever be bad for either Mom or baby.
ReplyDeleteMy children are now 6 and 4 yr old and I remember sometimes feeling like such an outcast when out shopping and running errands being the only babywearing Mom in sight.
Thank you for taking the time to write this blog post and imagine it took some time bringing it all together. I especially LOVE the babywearing photo's.
BTW, I never once thought your were being rude or condescending in any way when reading this blog post. Just sounded helpful to me!
I am going to share this post on Facebook with all of my friends!
And War Eagle to your sister!
LOL! i loved how you called carseats buckets! i hated using them but didnt discover babywearing until my DS was 6months :[ I sew'd my own Mei Tai and cant stop using it to carry my now 14month, 30lb baby. I was wearing him on my hip a few weeks ago to the mall and a teen girl said I was rockin him like a purse lmao!
ReplyDelete