Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Illyria's Freebirth Video
The birth of Illyria Karmen Mason 11.14.12
This is my 7th natural birth, 5th unassisted birth and 2nd girl!
For those who haven't read the birth story to go along with this video you can find it HERE
A bit of background for those who haven't read the story. My body started pushing about 2 hrs before but I was tired so I found a position that made the contractions light enough that I could relax through them without pushing (usually they are so strong I don't have this option). This was the 4th or 5th contraction after I changed positions and my body started really pushing.
The video starts when my friend happened to turn on the camera on the exact contraction where she was born. My husband Charlie is doing the hip squeeze because I have horrible back pain when pushing.
Excuse the kids bed heads and the shaky video, it is just a little flip camera and my friend Sam was also taking pictures and wrangling kids!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Birth Story of Illyria Karmen Mason
Illyria Karmen Mason
1:07pm Nov. 14, 2012
I have a video of the very end of the birth (though reading the story first puts the video in context).
It can be found HERE!!
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11
I gave birth 3 days ago, to my 7th child and 2nd
daughter! Our 5th unassisted
birth at home. In order to give the full
story of the birth I need to start with . . .
The Pregnancy
I really don’t have a lot of complaints in pregnancy. I have the occasional aches, pains and
discomfort that all pregnant women have.
Morning sickness usually lasts till 12-16 wks. 24/7 nausea is annoying but bearable and at
least I’m not vomiting day and night or anything. I sometimes have sciatic pain; heartburn can
be either bad or mild (actually fairly mild this time considering). And of course the emotional stuff that comes
with pregnancy . . . I mean I can get emotional or stressed, but I don’t think
I turn into a crazy woman or anything (though Charlie may beg to differ with
that one). I have very few complaints
and I usually enjoy being pregnant.
But this pregnancy was a bit different. I still had few real complaints, but I had
more ‘health’ issues (though even those weren’t super bad). I was far more emotional, I didn’t handle
stress as well, I had some 2nd trimester contractions that were a
bit strong for my comfort, I had some issues with my blood sugar, yeast, and
exhaustion (more than my normal pregnancy exhaustion) and I even got shingles. I usually can’t relate to people who complain
about pregnancy and are ready to have it over with. But by the time I was into my 3rd
trimester I had a revelation that I was finished, I was tired of being pregnant
and ready for it to end. I was not
handling it well at all and my body was tired.
Of course Charlie found it funny that I was just now realizing this,
because apparently he had that figured out a while ago!
Basically it was a wake up call for me. I AM NOT SUPER WOMAN!! I tend to neglect myself because, well, I
have a bunch of kids who need me. But my
friend Tierney (who is also a midwife) told me something I had known but wasn’t
willing to admit . . . . my body was likely depleted from all the years of being pregnant and
nursing . . . something she had seen many times before. No wonder I wasn’t handling stress well!! And all of this made me realize that I really
need to take better care of myself, even if it was with little things like
taking supplements that I am horrible at remembering to take. I have always been healthy but I suppose it
makes since that being pregnant 7 times in 12 years and nursing for 12 years
straight is going to affect me eventually if I am not careful . . . duh!!
So after the wonderful case of shingles at around 30 wks (which by the
way had the fortunate side effect of giving my kids chicken pox, something I
had been wanting to expose them to for a while) I started buckling down on the
supplements, and making sure to take time to fix myself good food everyday (and
not just shove down whatever I can find, and hope that what is quick and easy
is also healthy). I have never been a
fan of supplements, preferring to get as much as I could through good eating,
but hey, if my body is telling me I needed more then I REALLY needed to listen.
I started taking Floradix 3x a day (that stuff is not cheap)
for iron, I took chlorophyll and/or alfalfa, my prenatals, probiotics 2x a day, Emergen C,
Cod Liver Oil, Cal/Mag, Red Raspberry Tea, and after some research I felt that
I may be deficient in Vit D so I started on that too. My hope was that not only would it make me
feel better (and it definitely did!!) but that it may make my body labor more
efficiently (if perhaps that was way my contractions in the last 4 labors had
been so sporadic).
My EDD (based on ovulation) was Nov 12. My last baby had come a week early. My only other baby was 3 days early and most
came after my EDD. I usually tell myself
that baby will come later, but after last time, I tried to prepare myself
mentally for a baby anytime after 38 wks.
I still had some doubts and fears like my last 3 pregnancies, and as
usual they are always worse at night (actually I was always fine and positive
during the day, but night brought the doubts).
But I tried to focus more on myself and the family and with lots of
prayer I found that though they were definitely present, they were not too bad.
Much of my anxiety centered around how the birth would go (meaning,
would it be long and hard etc) and that the baby was healthy. I don’t do ultrasound unless there is
something that would warrant it, so I don’t get that peek inside. This baby was plenty active but not quite as
active as my others so that was different.
I also felt that she was smaller.
I do my own prenatal care (this is the 5th pregnancy doing
that) and I didn’t see Tierney at all till 39 weeks. She palpated and listened and said all was
well which I took great relief in. Everything seemed OK to me, but there is
nothing like having someone who has ‘laid hands on’ hundreds of pregnant women
telling you that everything feels good to make me feel better. She also reminded me that my birth will be
exactly what my baby needs, and that I
need to stop thinking or obsessing over it and to climb in the back seat and
let God take the wheel . . . everything will be fine. Those simple reminders gave me a greater
sense of peace in the following 9 days before I went into labor.
Since I was due on Nov 12, and Thanksgiving being Nov 23
(and we travel 3 hrs to visit family) I knew I needed to go into labor
somewhere before or shortly after my EDD or we would not be able to travel in
for Thanksgiving with family. So unlike
other pregnancies where I was happy to go after my EDD, this time I was kind of
hoping to go before. In fact I started
taking some borage oil around 38 ½ wks, not to induce labor (it doesn’t induce
labor) but hoping that if there may be something holding up labor it would help
prevent that. Nov 12 came and went I
pretty much prepared the kids for the fact that, unless I went into labor soon,
we may not be going in for Thanksgiving.
Birth Story
On Nov 13, at about 2:30 in the afternoon, while I was
showing Piper how to fry eggs, I had the wonderful sensation of something
running down my leg . . . HA!! It
actually freaks you out for a second till you realize . . . oh wait, this is a
good thing, LOL!! No my water didn’t
break but there was a fair amount of thin bloody show. Actually I think I may have sprung a small
leak, LOL!! I stuck my head around the
corner to tell Charlie that maybe we would make it in for Thanksgiving after all. Most of my labors have started with bloody
show like this. It is kind of fun
because it isn’t like you are having mild contractions and you are not sure if
it is labor or not. With bloody show (or
your water breaking) there is no question that something is happening. I wasn’t freaked out, a little anxious maybe
and actually a bit excited too. We just
went about our day as usual, though I did finish up some things that needed to
be done like putting some clothes away and stuff.
The baby, like all my other babies, had been lying on my
right side pretty consistently. I recall
that Dagyn had moved left in early labor and his was my shortest and easiest,
so I was thinking that if I could get this baby on the left (best position to
start labor) it may help things go faster. Over the weeks I had done some spinning babies
techniques to try to get her to the left, and she moved left a few times over
the last few days (I know because I not only feel where she is, but I listen to
her heartbeat with the fetoscope which tells me where she is) but she always
moved back to the right again. So I did
some more of those along with some stretches, some pelvic rocks, crawling on
the floor etc, just whatever felt right (funny what your instincts tell you to
do) to try to help move the baby in the best position with the most room for
the birth. She never did move, she
stayed on my right side the whole labor (I kept checking periodically until she
was born) which seems pretty normal for me and worked out fine.
I had no contractions
to speak of but I had bloody show all day, everytime I checked, and a few times
I had a bit of liquid come out too, so I was pretty sure I was right in my
suspicion that I had “sprung a leak”. I
ended up using some cloth pads and changing them on a fairly regular basis. My body also did the wonderful thing it
always does in early labor . . . cleaning itself out!! UGH!
That always feels wonderful . . . going to the bathroom every ½ hr till
you are sore . . . ya, fun times. I
thankfully had no nausea the whole labor, so eating wasn’t a problem that day
(though the more you eat the more that needs to be cleaned out, ugh).
Mentally I was good,
no freaking out, no real doubts or fear to speak of, but I did have anxiety
about going through labor again. It is
more the not knowing how it will go. I
assume all will be well as it should be in a normal birth, I don’t like really
worry much that we will end up at the hospital, or that I will hemorrhage or
anything (though I am prepared for anything).
It is more stuff like . . . will
it be super long? Will I have to push
for a long time? (I was praying for a
short labor but especially short pushing) will I want to call anyone over? Where I want to give birth? Will the baby be OK? What if she needs resuscitation? So I kept the rescue remedy handy and took
some a few times when I felt the anxiety start to rise. It did help, and I recommend it for anyone in
pregnancy and labor if you are feeling stressed, anxious, fearful, dwelling on
things etc. But I was excited too! Unlike other times where I wasn’t ready to be
in labor, this time I was ready and I was happy for labor to start. It was a nice change for sure.
Around 10 pm the crampy, though still mild, contractions
started. We are night owls and go to bed
late so everyone was still up. They were spporatic, off and on, and around
midnight or so we got the kids in bed. I
was lying in bed cuddling with Thrace (3) and nursing Dagyn (20mo) thinking
about how this was the last time we would be lying here in this way. The contractions came while in bed but I
didn’t really have to concentrate on them, though I always practicing relaxing
through them in preparation for the harder ones to come.
After the kids were asleep we got back up. I cleaned up a bit and did some more pelvic
rocks and stretches, listened to baby (still on the right) and went back to bed
around 2. I figured I would either get a
few hours of sleep and be woken up by harder contractions or that things may
stop and I could wake up rested in the morning with nothing going on. Well neither of those happened. The contractions started getting harder, hard
enough that as I was lying in bed, I found myself naturally relaxing and
breathing through them. I would start to
doze off and a contraction would come and wake me up. This has happened several labors before and I
find it super annoying! Plus I was
lying between 2 kids and I was thinking that should I need to get up and use
the bathroom or something . . . well . . . being hugely pregnant and lying
between 2 sleeping kids makes getting out of the bed very hard!! So after a couple hours, at around 4:30, I
decided to get up.
This is what I considered the start of active labor (and
when timing my labors, I start them when the contractions get to the point
where I can’t walk or talk, but rather I have to concentrate through them. If timed my labors from the start of any and
all contractions, then Pipers labor would have been 3 days instead of 10 hrs,
LOL)
I left the bedroom and the house was dark and quiet. I figured I’d turn on the TV to distract
myself, but for some reason I didn’t. I
walked around a bit, went to the bathroom a few times had several contractions
etc. I drank some Red Raspberry (ICK).
I was trying to figure out what I needed. I was tired, so despite the fact that I hate
lying down in labor I went to the sofa.
The living room was dark and the wood stove made it nice and warm, it was
super cozy in there. I put some more
wood on the fire and then I lay on the sofa and tried to rest for about and
hour. When I couldn’t stand lying down
anymore I got up. It was a little after
6am.
The contractions were getting progressively stronger and I
did what I always do during contractions.
I stand, knees bent, leaning over (or bracing myself on) a counter or
sofa or table etc and rock forward and backwards while completely relaxing my
body and breathing. As the contractions
progress and get stronger my breathing gets deeper. With the early active labor contractions I can
keep my mouth closed and breath in and out through my nose. But as they get stronger my breathing progresses to open mouth sighs or mmm’s and
then eventually moans. It is very
satisfying to feel the contractions progress and get stronger, knowing they are
working. I don’t need (nor do I want) someone sticking their
fingers up inside me, to learn some random number (that ultimately means nothing) to give them
(and me) a guess on how my labor is progressing. I am experiencing it and I can feel it!!!
Upon getting up from the sofa I was at the sighing point in
labor, lots of Ahhh’s and stuff with contractions, they were getting stronger. I never timed them really but I would guess
them ranging from 5-15 min apart (further apart while lying down).
As I was making yet another trip to the bathroom I heard
Dagyn wake up. I had hoped he wouldn’t
wake while I was in labor (some nights he does, some nights he doesn’t). Charlie was in the bed and he is really good
at getting Dagyn to sleep, but after like 10 min I could hear that,
unfortunately, it wasn’t working. I had
tried a couple contractions while sitting on the toilet (which I didn’t like)
and so I decided that I needed to suck it up and go in there and just nurse him
back to sleep. It wasn’t bad. I nursed him for maybe 10-15 min. I had a couple contractions that I was able
to manage just fine. I snuck away around 6:30
When I got up I noticed that the sun was starting to
rise. I had been wondering when it
would. I have had quite a few labors
where I got to watch the sun rise. It
was a welcome sight. The night is cozy,
but I feel so much positivity during the day so I was happy to see a glimmer of
light in the dark sky.
My contractions were picking up now too again. Despite the fact that parts of the house were
cold (we only have the wood stove and some space heaters for heat and it was in
the 30’s outside) I decided it was time to lose the pants! I also put out some old towels. Sometimes I use old towels, sometimes I use
chux pads, but either way. I set up
towels in “stations” around the house. . . usually in the bathroom, at the
dining room table, at the kitchen counter etc. So that wherever I am when a
contraction hits I have a towel to stand over should I need to pee (and with
stronger contractions I always pee before or after, and for the very strong
contractions I will pee during).
I feel very encumbered with pants on in labor. I need to be free to pee when needed, because
I do that a lot. I can’t keep my body
completely relaxed if I am holding my bladder, and I need to keep my pelvic
area relaxed to dilate and to be most comfortable. I have naturally done this in every
labor. I know a lot of people may feel
awkward about this, like it is gross or not very “lady like” but just a tip for
people who will be giving birth in the future . . . it may involve blood and
fluids, poop and pee and other things that people find objectionable in the day
to day, but there is nothing more feminine than being pregnant and giving
birth! The ability to do this is what
sets us apart and makes us unique. The
things that we may consider unpleasant about labor are really just a normal and
natural part of an amazing event!! And
listening to our bodies and our instincts in labor is a uniquely feminine
action. Don’t rule anything out because
it seems ‘gross’ to you or because you want to keep some dignity. Let go!!
And let your body do what it needs to do without letting your “mind”
interfere!!
OK, stepping down, LOL!!
So, it was around 6.30 or so when I got up from nursing
Dagyn. The contractions were stronger
and I was starting to have to moan through them, they also seemed to be coming
closer together. The times I looked they
were around 5 min or so apart. They
never got closer than that and some were spaced out more, but they were seemed
a bit closer than in previous labors. I
still had plenty of time between. I had
all my towels in place around the house so I could walk around. I was happy that the labor was progressing
regularly.
Things were getting a bit blury at this point. I had a hard time keeping track of time. I was so tired I felt almost like a zombie,
like I was delirious. I was trying to
walk around despite the fact that even walking was getting difficult, there was
like a constant cramp in my lower belly.
I was standing and moaning through the contractions but I knew I needed
to rest more, I was just SO sleepy, like pacing around saying “I’m so tired, I’m
just so tired”. So I took a towel and went back into the warm
living room (that was still pretty dark) and I knelt on the floor and just
flopped my upper body on the sofa. Not
sure how long before the next contraction came but I want to think I was lying
there and fell asleep for 10-20 min.
Then the next contraction came and it did NOT feel good down on my knees
(I need to stand ugh). I rested through to
another contraction and then I got back up.
I was still tired, but that bit of rest did help, I mean at least I
could stand without feeling like I was going to collapse.
The next couple hours I just did all the normal things I do
in labor, pacing around, moving from towel to towel during contractions, going
to the bathroom (yes, I was still going) talking to baby, talking to God,
taking some rescue remedy if I felt anxious, checking baby’s position etc. I was still extremely tired and it was cold!! I would have a contraction at the kitchen
counter then walk to the wood stove to warm up, then go back to the kitchen for
another contraction, or I would move from the bathroom to the tower heater in
the hallway. Surprisingly though I
didn’t get very shaky, usually I have the shakes at some point in labor but not
so much this time.
I had no worries or doubts at this point, usually once labor
gets going those melt away. The baby was beautiful. I always pray that the baby moves a lot
during labor. She was moving a lot
during the contractions (which doesn’t feel great . . . nice baby head grinding
on your cervix) but not between. It was
like she was working when I was working, and then taking time to rest. Usually I will at some point listen to the
heartbeat because I want to make sure baby was OK, but I had no doubts that she
was OK, and the only times I listened were mostly to check her position.
The sun was up and it looked to be a beautiful day. The sun brought some renewed strength to get
me through the 4 hours of intense contractions.
There was almost a persistent cramp in my belly which was manageable,
but annoying. The contractions were
hard, as the peak would come I’d have to crank my head back and open my mouth
wider (sometimes as wide as I could go) with a low moan that matched the intensity
of the contraction. At some points I
didn’t think I could moan any louder or longer!
I started to feel the intensity radiate into my back and legs during the
peak, leaving my legs aching and I knew they were getting stronger and doing
their job!! They were tough, but not
terribly painful . . . the “sense” of
pain was there, just under the surface, and maybe some people would describe it
as pain, but don’t feel it that way. It
just feels very intense and powerful. If
I was made to lie on my back, unable to be upright and vocalize and pee or
whatever I need to do to keep relaxed, I can see where the pain would be
horrible.
I had wanted to get some video of me laboring like this, I
had been planning on it, but when asked about it I was very indecisive (as I
get when in the depths of labor) so I never did.
I heard the bedroom door open at around 8:30- 9 as Charlie
woke up and came out. I was relieved to
see him as I was ready for some company.
I informed him that my friend Sam was coming over, which he was fine
with. Ideally, in a perfect situation, I
think I like just the family here for the birth. We have done it that way 3 times (with babies
3, 4 and 5) and it worked out great. But
I have more kids now (and the younger ones are younger than in past births) and
it was nice to have extra help with the kids and cleaning last time when my
mother in law was here. And though the
older kids are wonderful with the little ones and can do pictures and video etc,
I also need a lot of help after the birth (someone getting me things like
herbs, helping me get up and to a bed or bathroom or whatever, helping to clean
me up, getting things for the baby, a bowl for the placenta, just things like
that). I had decided that unless I
birthed in the middle of the night, I’d probably go ahead and have a friend
come to help out. I am SO glad I called
her too. She was a great help!! And if it
wasn’t for her taking the initiative to turn on the video camera for the exact
contraction where the baby was born (we had no clue she would be born that
soon) then we would not have had a video of the birth!!
I filled Charlie in on what had been going on with the labor
and he brought me one of his large shirts that would be warmer and cover more
of my body so my butt wasn’t hanging out for all to see!! I continued to labor with increasingly
stronger contractions, a few of the kids got up but I hardly noticed. Sam arrived a bit after 10am. I told her what was going on, how I usually
like do to things, that I will need some counter pressure during pushing and
that she and Charlie could take turns if they wanted (usually Charlie does it
all).
Around 10:30 the contractions started to change. Having experienced this many times I know this
change and I was anxiously awaiting it. At the peak, my moan stops with a catch in my
throat as my body starts to push involuntary.
I usually have several contractions like this before they turn into all
out pushing contractions. I was relieved
to experience it because I had been having very intense contractions for 4
hours and I had been praying that it wouldn’t go on all day like this as it had
with Thrace’s (#5) birth (with my last birth I only had a handful of super
intense contractions before they started to transform to pushing). I also felt the familiar intense back pain
that accompanies pushing, ugh! By 10:45
the contractions had transformed to full on pushing. I was standing at the kitchen counter and we
discussed whether or not to fill up the birth pool. We could put it in the living room next to
the woodstove where it was nice and warm with the sun shining in. It was just sitting right there ready to be
blown up. But though I loved and used it
with my first 4 births, as with the 2 previous labors the thought of getting in
made me feel almost claustrophobic. And going
to the trouble of blowing it up and filling it seemed too much.
I had thought that I may like to push standing up, with
Charlie doing the double hip squeeze to relieve back pain and also help open
the pelvis. So for the first few pushing contractions I stood at the counter
with first Sam, then Charlie doing the hip squeeze. But it didn’t feel right. It brought a lot of red bloody show but I had
a hard time relaxing my pelvic floor and frankly, I was just exhausted and felt
that I was no good pushing at this point!
It's a bit fuzzy, but early pushing. |
I have read in the past from “birth experts” that if you
don’t push, but instead breathe and let your body do the work to bring the baby
down, then when your body finally forces you to push with it it’s very
short. I always laugh at this because
frankly, I don’t voluntarily push. I
mean it is not like I am “oh goodie, my body is pushing let me push with it!!” If I could just “breathe” and let my body do
the work I would, because I hate pushing!!
I’ve tried, doesn’t work!! My
body does and I can’t stop it! It is
like I’m just along for the ride and I have no choice in the matter! Bu I discovered something in my last 2 labors. I found that if I move
onto my back, it decreases the strength of the contractions enough where I can
actually breathe and prevent my body for pushing. It also provides the counter pressure I need
for the back pain. Of course everything in my being (my instincts and my
logical brain) tell me to avoid lying on my back! I have NEVER wanted to be on my back in any
labor! But at this point, despite the
fact that my impatience wanted to push and get this thing done!!! I felt
like I needed to rest to gain the strength to push my baby into the world, and
I knew that my best chance for that was
to get into the tub and lie back and just try to breathe through the
contractions.
So I asked Charlie to get me a black tank top (having
learned from my last birth where I
looked like I was entering a wet t-shirt contest) and I started filling
the tub. Our water pressure is not great
and it takes a while for the tub to fill.
I had a contraction or 2 where I used the bathroom door frame for
counter pressure, and once a few inches were in the tub I got in. It was 11am.
It felt really good!! (especially since the bathroom was a cooler spot
in the house). When the water got
higher I laid back and tried to relax. I
am usually eager to push and get the baby out but this just felt right, I
needed to rest.
Time stopped. I the
contractions came, I felt my body lightly pushing but I was able to relax and
breathe through it. I felt pressure, I
continued to have bloody show and back pain, but I was amazingly able to resist
pushing. And there I lay, for an hour
and ½. I never would have guessed it was
that long! it didn’t feel that long! The contractions spaced out like they do when
pushing, and I am sure the position and the water caused them to space out
more. I knew what was going on, I could hear
everything in the house, I could hear the kids running by the room and playing,
I could hear Charlie doing stuff for them, peeking his head in occasionally to
check in on me. Sam sat by me doing
stuff on her phone. I am not sure that I
slept, or maybe I did some. I just rested. I doubt anyone watching would have even known
I was in labor unless they looked closer and listened. I was completely quiet with eyes closed,
occasionally my breathing would increase as the contraction came but that is
all. It was peaceful! I would occasionally open my eyes or turn the
water on with my foot to make it warmer etc.
The baby was quiet and resting too.
I would occasionally nudge my belly and she would respond. I never worried about her. It was weird to spend so long not pushing, I
almost felt like I was denying my body the ability to push, but I just felt
this was the right thing to do.
And then in a moment, clear as day as if I was speaking it
out loud I heard the words “OK I’m ready” and my eyes popped wide opened!! My heart started racing because I knew I was
rested and that it was time to work (You
know, the hard work of pushing that I HATE!!) and I tried my best to relax. But my body was telling me it was time. I just prayed, asked God for strength, asked
Him to make it quick asked for peace. So at 12:38 I switched positions, moving to my
side, knowing that it would cause the contractions to increase in
intensity. I had a few contractions,
very spaced out, in this position. Sam
was watching. With the first big one I
grabbed my leg, pulled it up, I breathed for as long as I could and then pushed
when I couldn’t hold off any longer . . . groaning as I do when I push like
that, I just went with it! I was
surprised at how much the pushes were doing!
Sam said she could see the shape of my belly changing as the baby got
lower. And there was a lot of pressure
and a lot of blood show. I felt inside
and touched my baby for the first time.
I could feel her head about 2 inches inside. Several minutes later another contraction
came and I pushed again the same way, more pressure, more show, more movement
from baby. When it was over I reach
inside and felt the baby’s head about 1”.
Sam commented that with contractions so far apart, no wonder it takes a
long time to push because it gives baby plenty of time to move back up. To which I agreed, but my body has always
done this, even with my first.
Resting on my side between pushing |
As the next contraction came I called Charlie over and
unbeknownst to me Sam turned on the video camera for the first time. The push started like any other, a wave, my
body pushing and me just going with it.
As it subsided another wave came, I could tell this one was
stronger. In an effort to “ground”
myself better I wrapped my arm around Charlies leg (something I have always
done as the pushing gets super intense) and went with it. The pressure was intense, that familiar
feeling of my perineum being filled with baby, I knew this was really doing
something!! In a moment I felt my water
break with great force. Immediately,
another breath, another wave, and the burning, opening, familiar feeling that
my body was being pulled away from itself down where my body was being filled
with emerging baby, and I hung on to Charlies leg for dear life as I groaned
and pushed with everything I had!! The
head was coming out but I felt as though the contraction was fading. I have learned through experience that if I
have the head partly out, I will NOT let it go . . . so another breath and I
kept pushing with all I had!! With that
the contraction seemed to pick up in intensity and I groaned “head” as I pushed her head completely
out!! (I had been joking just minutes before that I would announce "head" when the baby's head was out, but I said it with the accent used from the movie "So I Married an Ax Murderer". If you've seen the movie you know what I'm talking about, LOL). Ahhhh, It is always such a relief
to get that head out!! I said “heads
out”!! Charlie had a good view this time
and announced it as well as Sam was calling the kids to come in so they
wouldn’t miss it (some of them made it).
I paused to take a breath, assuming I would get a break and push her
body out in the next contraction, as had happened with all 6 previous
births! But my break was short lived as
my body started pushing again and I could do nothing to stop it. Clinging to charlies legs (him still
squeezing my hips) I groaned and pushed the rest of her body into the
tub!! (see a video of this HERE)
Ahhh, relief!!
Charlie usually doesn’t get to see what is going on, but he got an
exceptional view this time. He saw
everything. He could even see the fluid exiting her mouth and nose
as her body was squeezed through the perineum, something I wish I could
see!! And he seemed a bit disturbed
that I had just pushed her into the tub and she was just floating there (and
hopefully her head had not hit the bottom as she came out).
As her body emerged I announced “body’s out” and glanced around to see who was in the
room. I left her in the water a few
seconds in hopes that more kids would get a view before I lifted her up. I sat back in the tub and talked to her as
she sputtered and took a breath!! I
looked her over, she was beautiful, and perfectly pink! I didn’t notice her being smaller than my
other babies (though she was). I
immediately remembered to check for gender and reached down to feel, then
looked, and with surprise and joy I announced that she was a girl!!! I wish I would have thought to look at the
kids faces! She was screaming and
shaking a lot like she was cold. Most of
my babies will fuss a bit and then get quiet and look around. She was very fussy off and on so we didn’t
have that moment of peace staring into each others eyes, and I didn’t get to
interact with the kids as much as I normally do because I was distracted.
There was a lot of excitement in the room. I was able to ask Dagyn what he thought and
he had a very ‘unsure’ look on his face.
Usually my youngest is the first to come close to check out the baby but
he wasn’t so sure, LOL!! It only took a
few minutes though for him to warm up to her and get up in her face!!
I heard everything everyone said but I only responded to
some of it. I was explaining to Charlie
today that when he or the kids or whoever asks a question, it isn’t that I
don’t hear them and I’m not ignoring them.
It is like I am almost high and I respond in my head but I often don’t
realize that I haven’t responded out loud, LOL!!
I tried holding her down in the water as much as possible to
warm her up, but she continued to shake and fuss. She had periods of calm, like when I put her
to the breast, but they didn’t last long.
I needed to wrap her up but I didn’t want to get out of the tub yet because I have a lot of bleeding when my
placenta detaches and I wanted to wait for that to happen in the tub for easier
clean up. My placenta detached after
10-15 min with a couple familiar gushes of blood. Charlie put some chux pads on the bed (I had
to tell him where everything was because, as usual, I had neglected to set the
birth supplies out, LOL). He helped me
out of the tub, Sam put a towel around us and set up some pillows and I sat on
the bed and waited for the placenta. She
seemed happy to be out of the water and we got a warm fuzzy blanket for
her. I put her to the breast and while
she seemed happy there she made little effort to suck. I think it was a few hours before she really
latched on. She seemed wiped out!!
My sister Kim seems to know exactly the right time to call
because I heard the phone ring and sure enough, it was her (this was not the
first time she had called minutes after I pushed a baby out). So I answered (because I like to surprise
them) and we talked for a few minutes but I had to stop as the placenta was
ready to come.
Moments after birth |
Right before getting out, the water is red with blood from when my placenta detached |
The placenta came probably about ½ hr after the birth. My body doesn’t seem to have very strong
afterbirth contractions so it isn’t unusual for me for the placenta to need
some help (unless I am standing up, which I was a bit shakey for at that
moment). It was right at the perineum so
I gently pulled on the cord a bit while pushing. It is always a bit tricky because the baby is
still attached to the placenta and her cord wasn’t super long (18”). It wasn’t coming easily so I shifted position
and pushed and it came out on it’s own.
However there were still membranes inside so I had to very carefully and
gently work them out with gentle pulling while pushing. Ultimately the whole thing came out intact!! And Charlie and Sam were there to help me get
cleaned up and comfortable.
I sat back to relax.
They covered me up with some towels and we brought an extra heater in
the room (like the baby, I was cold and shaky too). We determined (the 3 of us) that my blood
loss looked pretty normal (at least for me) and I felt great and began to make
my plethora of phone calls.
I called Tierney first (made sure to wait till after the
placenta, because her first question is always whether or not the placenta is
out and if it isn’t she has me call after it is, LOL). I got her machine and left her a very
detailed message and then texted her. She called back in a few minutes and
“fussed” at me for not telling her I was in labor! Ha! In
my defense, I did give her a heads up when I saw bloody show. But labor picked up in the middle of the
night, and that is when I usually call her.
By the time morning came the contractions were close enough and intense
enough that the thought of talking to anyone on the phone didn’t appeal to me. So calling never crossed my mind.
She had some appointments and said she was going to finish
up at the birth center (she has a birth center and homebirth practice) and then head over, she was an hour away.
I then proceeded to call family, post pics on facebook,
nurse, and comfort a sometimes screaming baby . . . oh and eat and drink and
force myself to get up and pee a couple times (because that is important) over
the next several hours. I was shaky so I
did take a couple doses of Shephards Purse for bleeding just in case. I also took some 200C Arnica which I usually
take after birth for any swelling and trauma.
It was all very familiar, having been through the process 6 times before
(and this being our 5 time doing it unassisted) but while the process is
familiar, the feelings are just like it was the first time. It always feels like a dream, so surreal and
I love those moments and feelings in the hours after birth.
At around 4 hours I decided it was time to cut the cord. But I needed photos of her with her placenta first. So we tried to warm up the room. I handed her to Piper who was the first kid to get to hold her! (usually I would have given them a chance before now but she was very sensitive and particular and I didn’t want to do anything that would upset her more). My friend Jennifer arrived and helped with pictures (thankfully as my phone battery died) and video. She also warmed up some blankets and had the great idea of warming up a rice sock to keep Illyria warm so she wouldn’t be too fussy while unwrapped for pictures. Tierney and her assistant (who was wonderful and took lots of pics for us) showed up at about 5 hour postpartum as we were about to cut the cord. I knew it would be easier for her to weight and measure without her being attached to the placenta. Being the only girl Piper had the honors of doing the cutting.
I usually don’t clamp the cord because I cut so late it doesn’t need it. But her cord was bleeding a bit more than the others (usually there is just a few drops of blood) so we got some yarn to tie it off.
Tierney proceeded with the weighing and measuring. She was 7lb 2oz, a full pound smaller than
most of my others! Still long though at
20” considering her weight. But even
that is an inch smaller than my smallest (my others were 21-23”). Her head and chest were 13 ½”. So her head was ¼” smaller than my smallest
head previously (though most of their heads were 14”). Illyria didn’t scream as much as I thought she
may during the exam but Tierney was a little concerned about her shaking, which
she said seemed more like tremors. She
just told me to keep an eye on it.
Illyria had a rough first 36 hrs, she was very fussy and shaking a lot
(mostly when she was awake and screaming) and I got little sleep the first
night. But then, like magic, she then turned into “normal newborn” and settled down
a lot. The shaking for the most part subsided. I think she just had a hard transition and
her body needed time to adjust. I had
wanted to do more skin to skin but she definitely seemed more content when she
was dressed.
Tierney stayed and talked for a while, Charlie made homemade
pizzas for everyone, and then everyone left and we settled in, getting everyone
ready for bed for our first night as a family of 9!!
My friend Tierney, who has been there to support me through my 5 UC's |
My thoughts on the birth
I am grateful for answered prayers!! I had prayed for a short labor and short
pushing. And I find it interesting how
God chose to answer my prayers. I prayed
mostly for the shorter pushing, envisioning my pushing phase starting and my
body pushing uncontrollably and just pushing a baby out in a few pushes. And it didn’t happen like that at all!! My entire pushing phase was as long as it had
been in many of my previous births (2 hrs) but the actual time I spent pushing
(a few contractions in the beginning before I rested, then only like 4-5
contractions in the end) was SO much shorter!
It is like He answered my prayer, not in the way I envisioned, but in
the way it needed to be. And I it was
perfect!
Sam secretly thought I would be pushing for another hour and
I know Charlie was super surprised, having been through it with me so many
times before and usually spending so much time providing counter pressure! It was wonderful!! In fact when looking back on my labor I
usually have such negative thoughts and feelings about pushing, and especially
pushing the baby out! All I can think
about and all I remember is how the
feeling of the baby exiting your body feels like shoving a load of concrete
through you . . . that pain is too simple a word to describe it. Well, OK, I definitely do still feel that
way because it is totally true, LOL!!
(it is NOT fun) But when I look
back on that part of the birth this time, days after this particular birth, I don’t
automatically think how much I hated that part, I think . . . eh, it wasn’t bad
at all!! I think that when you are
pushing for hours, the build up only makes the climax that much more
intense. But this time the build up was
peaceful with me resting. There wasn’t the
discouragement and frustration that it was taking so long, there was mostly
just patience and peace. And then when I
finally did get to work each contraction and push was doing something, it was
productive and that made the whole experience so much more satisfying!
Of course I don’t mind pushing out a smaller head and baby,
but I do kind of wish she was a ‘normal’ size for me, you know like around 8lbs
with a 14” head. If I would have pushed
her out so easily at that size then I would know that the reason why it went so
well was because of how I did it and how the labor went, maybe my contractions were more effective or
the double hip squeeze worked to make more room . . . instead of wondering if it
wasn’t because her head was a little smaller.
But hey, I’ll take what I got!!
The labor itself was a bit more intense than my last one,
and a little longer. My last was 7 hrs
total, this one was 8 ½. But they are both so much shorter than some of my labors
previous (20+ hrs) so I am thrilled with that!! And considering my spaced out contractions,
all of my labors would be considerably shorter, probably ½ the length or less
if my contractions were closer together as most people’s labors are. No complaints, no regrets, nothing to sit
back and dwell on after the birth. I
could totally do that again . . . oh wait, I have already done it 7 times,
LOL!! Wow!
Regardless, I would say that this was my ‘easiest’ (funny
word to use because labor definitely isn’t easy) to date, and probably the most
enjoyable, and the pushing experience played a large part in that. When you are going through it, you have the
hormones rushing through you and you are in “the zone” and doing what needs to
be done and it is intense, and overwhelming, it is emotional and exhausting and
a million different feelings and experiences happening at once. But looking back on it, I always feel like
labor is no big deal. One day I am
pregnant, I go into labor, I push out a baby, we go to bed.
No biggy, LOL!! The kids certainly run around the house
playing like it is a normal day (they are so used to it, LOL). And it is so
surreal that it is hard to believe that I am lying here again with another
precious newborn by my side. It is like
it’s too good to be true!
And I’ll say again what I have say every time . . . it never
gets old! There may be some
familiarities, but each newborn is like the first time!! There is nothing
routine about it. The feelings, the soft
skin, the smell, the sweet noises ahhhhhh.
My gosh there is nothing like it.
Lying in bed that first night gazing into that sweet little face,
holding that little hand and drifting off to sleep, it is like bliss (though
she was fussy her first night, so we experienced that the 2nd night
;0) it is like a dream. And each time I
wonder . . . who am I to be so blessed?
What have I done to deserve to experience this again? Nothing . . . I certainly don’t deserve it. But I will take it and cherish every moment
of it!!
And to have another beautiful, healthy baby . . . and a girl
this time!! And a normal, healthy,
straight forward, peaceful and gentle birth . . . exactly the way God designed
it to work and exactly what we needed and what I wanted. I simply couldn’t have asked for anything
more! I am in awe of Gods miracle of
life, of His design of birth and of His entrusting me with another precious
soul. And I am, as always, humbled and
grateful and so thankful for His
faithfulness!
“The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His
mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh
each morning” Lamentations 3:22-23
New family of 9!! |
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