I'll Take Your Crazy, and Raise You a Side of Glaring Indifference

“Girl you are crazy, fo real!!”

I get this comment a lot.  It is usually said in jest with a laugh.  It comes from friends, close friends, well meaning friends . . . and sometimes acquaintances.  I laugh and usually nod my head in agreement, because sometimes I feel a little crazy.  I know they don’t mean anything negative by it, they are simply expressing their surprise or amazement at some of choices we make.  I take absolutely NO offense at it at all!!  I don’t mind being thought of as crazy, especially when I am doing what I think is best.

Of course I also get the comments in a not so nice way, said with a tinge of superiority or even disgust, usually accompanied by an eye roll.  And I am sure most of those people are actually saying it behind my back too “she is CRAZY, can you imagine, I would never do that!!!”.  That is fine too and it doesn’t bother me because like I said, I am doing what I think is best. 

 

Actually I can understand the crazy label being applied to many of our choices that are outside the norm and outside of most peoples comfort zone. 

For example . . . . 

Homebirth (or even unassisted birth).  For those who are unfamiliar with the safety of homebirth and unhindered birth in general, are afraid of birth, who think that birth is a medical event that needs the hospital, or for those who just feel safer with that medical ‘back up’ I can totally understand them thinking that homebirth is ‘crazy’.  I may not agree, but I can understand why they would feel this way. Though I have found that when people do more research on it they tend to warm up to the idea.  But it isn’t for everyone and personally, I can relate because I have often felt the opposite . . . like those who birth in the hospital (without a medical indication) placing their births in the hands of Dr's and hospital regulations are crazy, LOL!! (said in jest of course)  So I understand the feeling!

Natural Health etc. – people get freaked out at the thought of not vaccinating!  Diseases are scary (though some of us believe the vaccine is scarier).  They don’t understand just watching a fever instead of trying to bring it down, or not giving a kid Tylenol or cold meds at every ache or sniffle, or even not taking them to the dr for their ‘well baby’ checks.  We are such a medically minded society who looks to Dr’s to answer and even solve all our health problems, that it is often outside of peoples comfort zone to think of not utilizing this service. If someone wants to think me the crazy herb lady who doesn't have meds in her house I am cool with that!

Elimination Communication – Taking your BABY to the potty?  I don’t even need to explain why this sounds crazy, LOL !  (though I swear when you realize they can communicate this need it makes perfect sense).

Having 6 kids -Plenty of parents are overwhelmed with 1 or 2 small children.  So to them, the thought of more than that seems completely insane!  I understand, but I also explain that God gives them to us one at a time (usually ;0) and so we get a chance to get accustomed to them slowly as we learn new parenting skills and gain more wisdom and patience.  Though some say that for them 6 was easier than 2 . . . I can't really say I have experienced that! (I have older ones to help, but WAY more to keep up with)

But then there are some things about parenting that just seem very natural and normal and instinctual to me. When it comes to things like breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, I don’t understand how something so primal and so much a part of human nature (nurturing your child) can be seen as crazy.  I still don’t mind the crazy comments about these things, and I certainly don’t take offense, I just have a harder time understanding the sentiment.

So I was lying in our big bed last night in the dark.  All 6 of the kids had decided to sleep in there with us (Xian said he felt like being cozy).  Dagyn was nursing, his body cuddled into mine, his hand on my arm and his little feet kneading at my belly.  I could feel 2 yr old Thrace's body, cuddled up to my back.

   

And I thought . . . .

Is it crazy to love this?

Is it crazy to love cuddling with these babies?

Is it crazy to take joy in meeting my baby’s needs?

Is it crazy for wanting to provide them with the best nutrition in the world, for as long as they need it?

Is it crazy to look for reasons to be with them, instead of looking for reasons to be apart?

Is it crazy to want to cherish every moment because I know they grow so fast?

Is it crazy to embrace my mothering instincts, despite the fact that it goes against the mainstream?

Is it crazy to say yes, when society says I should say no?

Is it crazy to respect my older kids needs and desires without judgment?

Is it crazy to listen to what my baby is telling me?

Is it crazy to want to hold my baby as much as possible, especially when he is telling me he needs it?

Is it crazy to sacrifice my time, my body, and sometimes my mental sanity for the benefit of my children?

Is it crazy to give up my wants for my children's needs?

Well if all of this is crazy, then I am certifiable!! 

   

Go ahead and lock me away!   I’ll admit I am crazy about my kids and making sure I am doing what I feel is right by them!   I mean, don’t all of us parents have a little crazy in us?  And that is why I happily accept your crazy label even if it is meant as a negative, and if it is . . . .  Then I’ll take your crazy and raise you a side of glaring indifference!

 

The picture that prompted the post!

The other day I posted a picture of our big bed with all 8 of us on facebook. I often get people wondering how we make it work so I thought some would find it interesting (and I'll do a whole blog post about it at some point).  Those facebook friends who know how our family does things (and/or do things in a similar way) didn’t think a thing of the picture, but I am sure there were plenty of friends unfamiliar with how we do things, who were shocked by it!  Something I hadn’t even thought about when I posted it!!  And even though the comments I got on it were positive, I could only imagine that there were plenty of 'crazy' comments that would never be shared with me!

Alone time together . . . surrounded by kids!! (or, why we are content to go with the flow . . . and why Charlie rocks!!)

Me and Charlie, 2004

Charlie and I have been together 19 1/2 years (since he was 16 and I was 17) and married almost 14 yrs.  We have 6 crazy, fun, amazing kids!  (and to think before he met me he never thought he would ever get married, let alone have 6 kids).  He is and always has been my best friend. We do most everything together as a family (including grocery shopping) and I'd rather spend time with him, even with the kids around, than go have a moms night out with "the girls" (no offense 'girls' ;0).   Not that I don’t enjoy hanging out with like minded moms (believe me, I DO!!) but if I had to choose, spending time with him wins hands down!  And believe it or not, the times he has been asked to go out with the guys, he will often decline (though I promise you, I tell him I am fine with it if he wants to go).

What will we do today on Valentines Day?  Who knows.   We have been busy and as usual, we never made any plans.  Maybe we’ll make a special meal for the kids, maybe some heart cookies for dessert and then watch a movie or something.  One thing we won't get to do is go out alone. We have only gone out without any kids probably 10 times (or maybe even less) in over 11 yrs.   It’s cool, that is life with little ones!  We do stay up hours after the kids are in bed so we can hang out together alone (even if I DO often have to go back into the bedroom to nurse a baby to sleep every 1/2 hr). 

highschool, 1993

It works for us! We don't need huge plans or to have a big night out (though every once in a while it would be nice ;0) We are content to just live life in the moment we were given and enjoy what we have now, because the next stage of life will be different (though I am sure also exciting).
 

You know how  people (often experts) say it is important to have "date nights" and go out without the kids and stuff.   In fact it seems that once a mom has a baby one of the first things on her mind is getting to the point where she can leave the baby with a sitter so she can “go out”.  Well sorry, I am NOT leaving my babies when they are little (and Charlie doesn’t expect or ask me to).  I wait until I am sure they are fine without me (and with a family member they love) for a short time, and that is often closer to 18mo – 2 yrs.  So as it works out, by the time they are that age, I am pregnant again so we  have a window of a few months where we can go out before I have another baby (and then we are not really alone because I have a huge belly baby making their presence known ;0)  Now that I think about it, I am not sure if we even had a chance to go out alone last year before I had Dagyn.  Charlie’s mom was on her way to our house (all of our family are 3 hrs away) to let us go out to dinner but my water broke the night before, so we spent the evening meeting a new baby instead of getting our dinner alone (and we wouldn’t have traded that for anything!!)

in college, 1995

 YES, it is so nice when we do get a couple chances to go out alone every other year. I LOVE it! But I don't think it is mandatory for 'happiness', at least it isn’t for us.  I think happiness is losing preconceived notions and finding contentment where you are and making it work for you (the same can be said about parenting babies and young children). For us, that means maybe losing a bit of sleep at night so that we can spend more time together (and sometimes that is just both of us sitting on the sofa doing computer stuff . . . like right now, or playing a video game, or cleaning, or watching a movie, or talking). For me, it may mean trying not to fall asleep when I go in to nurse a baby back to sleep for the third time . . . because Charlie is waiting in the living room for me to come back out and finish the movie we had to pause . . . again, LOL.  

You know how you always hear people say that marriage is a lot of work . . . in order to have a successful and happy marriage you have to work at it!!  We have talked about it and agree that we can't relate because it has never felt like that to us (not that it makes us any better than anyone else, but it is just how it is).  Maybe it is because we have the same interests and likes . . . I mean we agree on almost everything!  Our personalities complement each other  too,  I am strong willed about some things and he is more easy going, so we don't butt heads much . . .  and we are both just laid back and “logical” about a lot of stuff.   So a lot of things are just no big deal.  I think a big thing is that we recognize each other’s strengths and respect that.   We are Christians, and the Bible talks about submission (which I believe goes both ways) and it is very easy when there is mutual respect . . . there is no need for ‘submission’.  I respect his role as provider and father.  He is extremely intelligent and if there is something he feels is important I don’t question it (I have no reason to, I trust him).  On the other hand, he absolutely respects my instincts as mom, and would never question what I feel is best as it relates to birth and caring for the little ones  . . . no matter how crazy it may seem, he takes it all in stride and usually says “that makes sense”.  He is very good about me having such strong feelings and opinions, and even when I get very verbal about it (though I really think he likes it when I get all riled up about stuff, LOL).   And we both feel that whatever is the most natural just makes the most sense.

Thanksgiving 2010 (I am pregnant with Dagyn)

He doesn’t act embarrassed when I run my mouth, even out in public!  If I am venting about something I am passionate about, he will often join in and agree with me.  He prefers to go to the store with the whole family, no matter how crazy it will get.  And when I run into a friend when out (or if I am stopped by a stranger) he very patiently waits for me to stop running my mouth, even if it has been ½ and hour (or . . . longer).  He doesn’t care that I am nursing 2 or 3 kids and they nurse till they are 4-5, and has even defended it to his friends.  He doesn’t bat an eye at “playing midwife” during our births.  He sleeps in the bed, sandwiched between kids, being kicked in the head, having kids lie all over him, and he has never once said “hey, let’s try to move the kids out of the bed”.   He has NEVER once complained about the messy house, or the naked babies who never have diapers on or the piles of slings and carriers filling up the back of the car (OK so he has complained about that last one a time or 2, LOL).  He is happy to just go with the flow . . . how awesome is that!!

Geez neither of us are perfect, but we know that too!!   I have ALWAYS joked that God put us together because He knew that only we could tolerate each other!  

The most recent picture I could find of us together, Jan 2012

 I would love to have more date nights . . . and I say as with everything . . . "maybe we can do that when we are 50"  But instead of forcing it, or leaving my kids before I think they are ready, or thinking that it is mandatory, or resenting that we don't get to go out alone often, I am content and happy with the stage of life I am in now and make it work without having to leave my kids or make sacrifices that I am not comfortable with (because if I am not comfortable with it, he wouldn’t be either).   I will definitely enjoy being able to do more stuff just the 2 of us, when the kids are older and don't need us as much.  I actually think about that often, though I joke that we will not get alone time even then because we will probably be constantly babysitting grandkids . . . . but I know we'll enjoy that too. 

As for now, we are happy to enjoy our date nights at home, eating ice cream, watching movies, just hanging out, with the occasional interruption of a crying baby or screaming toddler of course.    It is what it is and that is what makes it so cool, we don’t need more than what we have at any given time.  We are blessed with an amazing family!  If we can’t be happy with life as it is right now . . . then I am not sure that anything could bring us happiness!

The day Dagyn was born . . . look what we have created!!!!

Our family Tree . . . wall!

So I was lying in bed a couple weeks ago trying to decide what to do with the hallway. We had just painted it (we paint a lot) and, in our neverending effort to gain more space in our not to terribly huge house, we hung a really cool shelf thing on one wall to hold all our herbs that we pick and dry.  I had a dry erase board for the kids on the other wall, on the bottom half, but I wanted to do family pictures above that.  

So while lying in bed this picture popped into my head of a tree with branches entertwining around family pictures.  This is what I came up with.

It was really very easy.  I taped some paper to the wall where I thought I may like pictures.  Then I took some chalk and outlined a tree.  Then I got some black wall paint (yes, we have some black walls in the house too) and I just kind of freehanded the tree using the chalk outline as a guide.  It didn't take long at all.  Maybe a couple hours.  Of the whole project though taking the pictures, printing them out and getting them in frames (some of which I had to spray black too) was by far the hardest and most time consuming part.

My Paper "pictures" and chalk outline

I put a picture of Charlie and I at the top.  Around that I put pictures of us holding each of the kids as babies, then on the bottom I did recent a picture of each kid, that I can switch out as they grow.  If I had more room (or used smaller pictures) I would have loved to do pregnancy pictures too.  I'll have to reassess the layout if (Lord willing when) we have more kids! 

A view from the other side (yes, that is Piper holding a chicken, Lele)

 I could have made the tree trunk go down lower, but my original intent was to have a bunch of roots down there spreading out across the wall.  Then after I painted it on I thought roots (and more branches, which I had also intended to do) may be too 'busy'.

This is a view down the hall (dry erase board on the bottom left, herb storage right)

This is our cool dry herb storage!  We haven't put all the herbs in there yet but it holds our recycled jars nicely!

Yes, Parenting IS Hard!! Why *I* Carpe Diem!!

This blog post from the Huffington Post has been making the rounds on facebook lately.  It is entitled 'Don't Carpe Diem'.  If you haven't read it . . . the author reflects on the comments she receives from older people (and any of us with kids have heard them) telling her how much they loved parenting their little ones, how it was the best time of their lives and that we (parents of younger kids) should enjoy it while it lasts. These comments bug her, make her panicky and stressed out and according to the comments on her post, many agree. So many of my friends have linked to it, everyone seems to love it.  She definitely makes some good points and seeing as how us moms so often relate to each other, the post validates what a lot of us feel day to day.  Parenting IS hard!!  But the post didn't speak to me, in fact I kind of didn't like it (ducks head). And this is no offense to the author or any of my (MANY) friends who loved it and said "Amen" a million times while reading it.  It's cool!  Actually, I agreed with most of what she wrote, I guess I just have a different perspective on the Carpe Diem thing.

So after my 5th stock response to a friend linking to this post (because for some reason I feel this need to give my perspective on, like, everything) I decided to suck it up and just blog about it myself . . . because with 6 kids, ages 10mo to 11yrs, I have SO much time to sit at the computer and blog (and if you look to the right of this page you will see the plethora of blog posts I have found time to write in the past few months . . . though I DO try I swear!!!).

I hear it often, from men and women and I'll admit it . . . I love it when older people tell me to Carpe Diem!!  Of all the comments I get (and I get a lot of comments when I am out with 6 kids) this is my favorite!  They are looking at my crew (and it is a motley crew) with a smile on their face, joy in their eyes, and I can just see them remembering what it was like when their kids were little.

This is the most recent photo of my crew from 2.25.11  it is also one of the few pictures I have of the kids where they are all fully dressed (usually 1-2 of them are butt naked).  Do you see trouble?  HA!  (as if the headless Jack Skellington in Thrace's hand isn't a clue ;0)

The comment usually starts with . . . "your family is beautiful".  At this point I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing I don't have to come up with some witty retort to a rude comment.  And then they tell me how this was their favorite part of parenting, when their kids were little, and how I should enjoy it because it flies by.  I find it really puts things into perspective for me, and not just because my oldest is 11 and I am stumped at how he got so big so fast!

I think . . . are these people blind? They are obviously not seeing that my 2 yr old in the buggy (he is there because he keeps running off hiding in the clothes racks) is taking great joy in throwing all the groceries on the floor (or opening boxes of crackers, pealing bananas etc.) No I don't "let" him do these things, but sometimes, when I look away he does anyway, I mean, he is only 2!!  They don't know that the just turned 5 yr old, who is taunging the 2 yr old, hasn't listened to ONE thing I have told him since we left the house (he is by far my hardest at this point).  They must not see the 7 yr old who for some reason keeps falling on the floor RIGHT in front of peoples buggies (I don't know why he does this, he is just a jokester, and his clothes are filthy because of it too) or the way the older 2 like to stand in the middle of the asile and spin and spin and spin and pay no attention to all the people around them! (in their defense, they only do it when the aisle is empty, but the thing about aisle's is, that eventually, people do walk down them, whether or not you are spinning ;0)  And what is the baby doing?  Well I am wearing him (of course) and he is stuck on my boob because some days, if he isn't nursing in the Kozy he is NOT happy!!(he is actually nursing right this moment, kicking my arm as I am trying to type).

They aren't 'bad' kids (they aren't puppets or robots either) they are just kids . . . normal kids doing 'normal' kid things!  And I think . . . these well meaning people making these positive comments must not have seen how my kids were acting.  And they certainally haven't seen all the faces or negitive looks I have gotten from strangers since leaving the house!!

Or maybe, could it be that they DO see all these things, and they DO remember all these things and they STILL look at me with envy?  Because despite how hard it was for them (and remember, their kids are grown so they have been through it all) in their reflection, they realize how fleeting it is too, and they WISH they would have taken more time to enjoy parenting, ALL aspects of parenting.  These are the same people who often (more often than I would have thought) admit to me that they always wished that they had MORE kids.  "I always wanted more children, but we thought it was best to stop at 2 or 3" etc.  It breaks my heart to think that now, as their childbearing years are long gone, they are confiding in me and envying ME and my motley crew (did I mention how my kids were acting??).  I don't mind their comments, I want to benefit from their experiences and wisdom and the moment they took out of their day to share with me.

I don't get paranoid or annoyed when I hear "Carpe Diem", I get determined!!

You see I am basically a pretty negative person.  I can find anything to complain about, it's easy to find the negative in things.  Just ask my husband. On the days he is gone he will often receive multiple calls from me with stories about either something crazy one of the kids has done or with me near tears because I am about to lose my mind!! (when I get stressed I tend to repeat "I think I am going to lose my mind!!!" over and over)  I want him to KNOW what I am dealing with here while he is out.  Of course he knows, because when he is home he is in the thick of it too, but sometimes, I just like to remind him ya know?  We homeshool, so the kids are home with me 24/7.  I have been nursing for 11 yrs straight (tandem for 9 1/2).  I have nursed kids to sleep for nap and bed EVERYDAY for over 11 yrs straight, so getting them in bed usually takes between 1-2 hrs (this is why we have the horrible TV in the bedroom . . . no judging ;0).  I have no local family and don't leave my babies anyway, so it is rare for dh and I to get out by ourselves (and usually by the time my youngest is ready to be left, I am pregnant again, so we get a few 'dates' alone before I have another baby).  Some nights, we have all 6 kids in our VERY big bed with us! . . . . . This is my life!!  These things may seem overwhelming and like negatives to some people, but I love it and it is what I feel is best for my kids.  However, having kids on you and with you 24/7 means you have very little 'no kid' time and makes it very easy to get overwhelmed (at least that is the excuse I use).

Parenting is hard, especially when you don't get many breaks.  But that is what I signed up for, it is what I wanted and what I was expecting when I decided to have kids (and decided to parent the way I do).  No one has ever told me that it wouldn't be hard, in fact most of the things I hear or have heard from society about having kids are negative . . . they ruin your body (cause prolapse, thinning hair, stretch out your skin and boobs, cause you to gain weight, and well, lets just say makes jumping on a trampoline not the most positive experience) they are very inconvenient to your life and career, they are selfish, they are super expensive and when they get older, they become extremely ungrateful and disrespectful. They multiply, shoot they quadruple your worry,  and you will never, ever sleep soundly again!!

And, yes, some or all of these things may be true.  But to me, it isn't about the negatives, the lack of sleep and frustration, the constant worry, second guessing, and countless hours of research (because I am a research nut). And it isn't JUST about the random peaceful, quiet, calm, sweet baby, tender kisses, book reading moments either (the moments that come infrequently but you would freeze and make them last longer if you could) . . .  It is about the journey!

Bringing these little souls into the world, watching them grow, helping them learn, seeing the people they are becoming . . . yes PEOPLE!!  These beautiful, independent, little people who are the greatest responsibility . . . MY responsibility!  Yes, the thought is overwhelming!  I can get negative quick, I can (and do) complain.  I tell the kids,  "I am only one person, I can't do everything" and I mean it!!  But when I examine my life, and the home and atmosphere I provide for my kids, I don't want it to be negative where I am just struggling to get through the next day, hour or even moment (even if inside, I feel like I am struggling much of the time).  I want the atmosphere to be positive!!  

I believe mothering is a privileged, a most high calling, and I want to act like it is durn it!!  

I want to be a positive example of parenting.  I want the kids (and strangers when we are out for that matter) to see me smile and laugh and handle each obstacle with grace.  A grace that doesn't come naturally to me, but that I long to possess.  I want people to look at me as an example of the best parts of parenting, not all the trials and hardships.  I don't want worthwhile moments to be thrown in here and there. I don't want the moments that I will cherish to be just those easy, peaceful or blissful moments that are too few and far between.  I don't want the positive moments to be fleeting, I want to embrace all of it, to look for the positive in all of it, to learn how to find joy in all of it, and to cherish all of it. 

So for me that sometimes means a change of mindset, a change of perspective.  It means looking for the positive, not after the chaos but the midst of it (which may not always be easy).  It means not just trying to just make it through each moment, but trying to actually enjoy each moment for what it is, another step in my day and my journey through parenting.  That doesn't mean I have to love cleaning poop off the sofa, it doesn't mean I have to love it when the toddler throws a fit and is banging his head on the floor, it doesn't mean I have to love it when there is chocolate sauce on the carpet, the sink or toilet has overflowed for the upteenth time, when kids are (literally) pulling each others hair out, the toddler is dumping cereal on the floor, or (as is usually the case) when all of these things are happening at once.  I may not love these things, but I want to cherish them, to embrace them, to find the positive in all of them and squeeze as much joy out of them as I possibly can!! I strive to live in each moment of life, the good and the bad, and I want to remember it all, because every aspect of parenting, the easy and hard, all shape me and make me the person that I am . . . and I in turn use that to help shape my children!

I am not always successful, the Lord knows (and so do my friends and family) that I need SO much help trying to be more positive.  And that I often fail.  I will never be perfect.  It doesn't mean that I can't or won't sometimes still complain or vent . . . because sometimes we get overwhelmed and just need to get things off our chest.  That is OK, I'll vent for a moment and move on, hopefully with a smile.  And I'll most definitely remind people not to expect too much from me because most days I can't even remember my own name ;0)  But I don't want to look back and regret that I was so caught up in the chaos that I missed some pretty cool stuff!  Sometimes, the chaos can be downright amazing!  And when it isn't, I'll try my hardest not to just 'get through' the next moment, but to Carpe Diem!

So yes, parenting is hard, everyone who has ever been a parent knows there are times when it is hard . . . though I will absolutely take my days here at home with the kids over chopping wood all weekend like dh has been doing lately.  But when I take my eyes off my 18mo old for a second, only to find him on the ROOF (yes, that reads roof . . . like R.O.O.F, the roof of the house). . .  or when my 2 yr old strips naked, like completely butt naked in the aisle at Walmart (yes, they both happened, but if you ask me about them I will deny it ;0), when I have spent an hour cleaning the kitchen (after spending an hour cooking) and then walk into the living room to find it trashed, or when I have heard "mom, I'm hungry" for the 50th time . . . I'll try my hardest to "count it all joy" so that instead of a defeated sigh, I'll smile, or maybe even laugh and say "Thank you God for blessing me with healthy, happy kids with active imaginations and plenty of energy . . . and thank you for grace".

And on the hardest of days, I will remember those older parents who have reminded me to 'carpe diem' and thank them for helping me to keep things in perspective! 

Now to put things into perspective again . . . here are some pictures of what was going on in the house while I was distracted writing this (an example of why I do most of my writing at night, and since I am usually tired, a reason why my blog is just overflowing with posts!! ;0)

I found this on my phone, looks like someone wanted to take some self portraits!!

Yes, that is a knife in the chocolate peanut butter (and yes, he is naked butt)

apparently someone left the art supplies box out and someone else got into it and had some fun (and I spy another little guy on the right without pants on)

Not too bad!! Trust me, it could have been (and often is) MUCH worse!

Overall it was a pretty uneventful couple of hours!

(and the older kids did a great job helping clean up).

DIY Gourmet Candy Apples!!

Candy apple w/ caramel, white chocolate, Reese's Cups and chocolate drizzle

A couple of years ago Charlie came home from work with what looked like a candy covered soccer ball on a stick, LOL!!  When I asked what it was he informed me that it was, supposedly, an apple (someone was giving them out as a promo thing).  Neither of us was convinced because, I mean, it was HUGE!!!  What I didn't realize was that 1/2 of that 'bulk' was candy, white chocolate and caramel.  So, not convinced, we cut into it and sure enough, there was an apple in there!!  With that first bite came a revelation . . . it . . . was . . . AMAZING!!  and . . . . I could totally make one of these! (you can find them online and in but they are fairly expensive).

I have been making them for several years, with trial and error of course.  I'll share with you how I do it.  It may seem complex but it is totally easy and not even very time consuming (unless you are making like 6 at a time, which I HAVE done before, LOL).
I wish I would have taken pictures of all the apples I have made (some were rather impressive) but alas, I did not.  But I did find a few pictures taken over the years (I included them all here).

S more's apple on the left, coconut and chocolate on the right, they are in plastic bags for transport

 OK here is what you need

• 1 large Granny Smith apple (I have tried others, and granny smith is best, but if you can't find a big one then anything that is sour or tart and crisp will work better than a more mild flavored or sweet apple).
• A sprinkle of baking soda
• 1/2 pack of caramels (25 cubes of caramel)
• 1 tablespoon of water (no more, no less . . .trust me, I have learned this from experience)
• 1 pack of white chocolate chips (I have also used chocolate or a combo of both, but white is a good standby and easy to work with, quick and less messy.  White Almond Bark may work, but though I have used it for dipped pretzels and coated cookies, I have never used it on an apple) 
• Cream (optional)
• 1 stick (A regular Popsicle stick won't work, it is too small. In the past I have used large popsicle sticks, those square craft sticks, chop sticks, a couple bamboo skewers etc.  You just need something that is strong enough to hold the apple when it is coated and heavy).
• Candy.  In the past I have used reeces cups, heath bar (those 2 are the best IMO) snickers, M&M's, coconut, peanuts, raisins, sprinkles, candy canes, candy corn, pretty much anything and everything.  Or you can do a 'themed' apple.  I have used chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows for a Smores apple (seen above).  I have done Trail Mix, Or you can do crushed Oreos (for dirt) and gummy worms.  The options are endless!!  Google "gourmet candy apple" and you are sure to find plenty of sites online that sell them and there are tons of ideas! 
• A handful of chocolate chips - optional (to melt and drizzle on top to make it look a bit more 'fancy') 
• Cellophane and a ribbon - optional (for presentation if you want to impress).

Keeping it simple . . . The apple on the left is caramel and chocolate with white chocolate drizzle, on the right is caramel with white chocolate covered with chocolate and chips

Start by washing your apple.  This is where the baking soda comes in.  Most apples have this waxy film on them that makes it harder for stuff like the caramel to stick, so I wet the apple and rub it around in my hands with some baking soda in an effort to get as much of the film off as possible. 

Then rinse, dry the apple and put your stick in the top.

Put your caramels and water in a microwave safe bowl - 1/2 pack or 25 cubes of caramel, and 1 T of water OR 7oz of caramel with 1 T. of water.  If you can't find the caramel cubes and/or don't know the weight, then just check the package of whatever you buy and see if they have recommendations for making candy apples and how much water to add. (Too little or no water makes it very hard to chew, too much water and the caramel runs off . . . ask me how I know ;-)  Microwave for 30 sec, then for another 30, then stir, then keep zapping for 15 seconds till it is melted (sometimes it doesn't look melted but they will melt as you stir them up more).  You may find that if you stir it enough then you only need to do it 3 or 4x.  You want the caramel to be very thick, if it runs easily and quickly off the spoon it is too thin, so wait for it to cool for a minute.  You want it thick because if it is too thin it will run down the apple as it is cooling and you will end up with a thin layer of caramel on top and a thick pool at the bottom.

Spooning thick caramel over the top (this was one of those cases where I couldn't find a big Granny Smith . . . it isn't quite the same without the Granny Smith)

Hold the apple by the stick over the bowl of caramel and spoon it around the top of the apple, letting it run down the sides.  If it is so thick that it doesn't run all the way down no problem, you can then just use the spoon to spread it around till the whole thing is covered (using all the caramel).  Then I place it on a greased plate and into the fridge (or outside on the porch if it is cold).  I check it after a min or so and if too much caramel has run down to the bottom I pick the apple up with my hands and mold the caramel back onto the body (making sure to get it as even on top and bottom as possible).

Pasting on the white chocolate by hand

 While the apple sits in the fridge I melt the white chips (1 whole pack) on low on the stove, adding a splash of cream to them (maybe like 1T or so) which makes a ganache (this is optional). **while it is melting you can chop your candy if needed** Watch them closely, stirring occasionally (don't over stir).  I like to chips to be melted but only warm to the touch.  Sometimes I can catch them as they are just melted, sometimes they get too hot and I have to remove them from the heat and let them cool a bit till I can handle it.  Either way, once they are cool enough that you can reach in the pot and scoop it out with your hand that should work.  Then, I pick up the apple (you may have to use a spatula to pop it off the plate) and paste the white chocolate on with my hands till it is all on there and evenly spread.   

Next, while the white chocolate is still soft (but not so warm as to melt the chocolate in my candy) I take the candy and place it into the white chocolate.  If you are using something like graham cracker crumbs, coconut, sprinkles, or something small, you can roll the apple around it it to coat it completely, then you want to hand place larger chunks.  With cut up candy, usually I just sprinkle on the smaller pieces then I take larger chunks and piece them on.  When I have all the candy on there I stick it back in the fridge.

While it hardens in the fridge again, I melt a handful of chocolate chips in the microwave, pop them in a sandwich bag, snip off the end to drizzle over the top to finish it off.

Then I keep it in the fridge till I am ready to serve (or take it wherever we are going).  It will keep for a while, so you can make them days early if needed.

To serve, cut it in triangular slices from the top center (where the stick is) kind of like you are cutting a cake.

Apple slices

If you want it to look nice you can cut a big piece of cellophane, set the apple in the middle, gather it all at the top and tie it off (on the stick) with a ribbon.  Just makes for a nice presentation, especially if you are giving it as a gift (and they make a really nice gift for Christmas, or any other special occasion).  They are nice for parties, showers, or any type of get-together. 

Apple in cellophane, with ribbon and tag ready to be given as a gift at Christmas

 ENJOY!!  

Christmas gift idea . . . wonderful children's books from Dreamland Books Inc.

Books, I LOVE books.  It is kind of weird considering I was never much of a book reader (love research reading) not to mention the fact that I so don't have time to read much at all right now.  But I do love books all the same.  And I try my hardest to avoid used book sales because I tend to buy more books than I should.  But I digress . . .

I have these 4 Children's books here from Dreamland Books Inc.  Melissa (the owner, author, and a friend of my dad) sent them to me because, well, I have quite a few kids and I am in the kid business (Kozy and all).  Of course I was THRILLED to get them . . . ya know, seeing as how I love books and all.  And after I saw and read them, I was even more thrilled because I LOVED them!!  She didn't ask me to blog about them or anything, but I wanted to because we have just enjoyed them so much over the past couple months that I wanted to share the love!!

 I don't know if y'all know but I have read my share of children's books.  I have a degree in English and have worked with children regularly since I was 12 (a kid myself).  Before having my 6 kids I was a nanny for 2 yrs, then for 5 years before that I worked at an Early Learning Center. I also taught children's church for 12 yrs.  Needless to say, I have been reading books to children for a LONG time.  I dare say I have read 100's maybe even 1000's of books (or, well, I have read books to them 1000's of times, LOL, you know kids, they often like to hear the same book over and over and over . . . . ).  Anyway, my point in all this blabbering is that despite having read so many children's books, I was really impressed by the quality and artwork of these books from Dreamland Books! 
Lets just say that unlike many books we own, these are going on the high shelf and will only be looked at or read under supervision because I don't want them to be torn by little hands that don't yet know how to be careful!  More work for me?  Yes, but that is cool as long as these books don't get torn up, because I do really like them a lot.

The first book I read was A Granny's Heart.  It is all about grannies and all the wonderful things about them!  As I was reading this book I just kept thinking . . . this is a feast for the eyes!  The artwork is so unique and the colors are subtle and beautiful.  I love how you can see texture in the background and how the words are almost a part of the artwork.  The story is precious and the kids really enjoyed talking about what similarities the grannies in the book had with their own grannies.  I think any child with a grandma would be able to relate to and enjoy this book.  I imagine it would be pretty special to their grandmas too!




Baby Animals was a favorite of my 2 yr old.  He was enthralled with it and refused to let anyone else hold it!  It is not only a counting book but teaches the months of the year as well.  My 2 yr old would find the baby animals and then my 4 yr old would count them (don't you love how they worked together on this) and I had to keep reminding the older kids that this was a book geared towards little ones, so let them do the counting, LOL!!  It is a simple book, perfect for little ones.  With beautiful artwork and all those baby animals, I can see why my 2 yr old loves it so much!






I dare say Faces may be my favorite of the bunch, though that is hard to say because I really did love them all.  I love books that get kids talking and discussing and this book definitely does! At each turn of the page we had something to talk about.  It goes through 16 different kids and talks, in very simple language, a little about each one . . . and they are all unique. Using rhyming words even my 2 yr old can understand, we learn about where these kids grow up, who they live with, how they look, their likes and dislikes etc.  Even some of their names are unique (which I can appreciate).  And then the question at the end of each page shows how, despite many differences, we may actually have something in common. They were also able to find similarities between the kids in the book and some of their friends.  A little precious and unique face innocently peeks at you on each page, and I found it a pleasure to read about each one of them!

Night may have been the favorite all around. It is a counting backwards book.  My older kids loved it!  There is something to be said for a book that can keep the attention of a 2 year old AND an 11 yr old (and all ages in-between).  There is just something magical about this book.  The artwork is very unique and my kids were drawn to it.  We loved the lone tree on each page, the giant greatly detailed moon in the corner, the subtle splashes of red amongst all the black, and of course all the stars!  It is beautiful, serene and almost quiet, like you can just hear the animals and bugs scurrying about on the pages.  The kids were fighting over who was going to do all the counting (I told the older ones they had to defer to the little kids). I think my favorite part of the book though is the very back page, where they have listed 14 quotes by famous people (Longfellow, Thoreau, Tennyson, Lincoln, Confucius etc.) as they pertain to each of the characters in the book . . . the stars, bunnies, tree, moon etc.  Beautiful!!

If you are looking for some last minute Christmas gifts check these out!!  You can find them HERE  It looks like they have a special, buy 3 get 1 free.

Lastly, here is Xian reading Animals to Thrace (2) and Dagyn (9mo)

 After a few minutes, Dagyn got a little excited and decided to tackle the book!!

(ack, don't let him rip the book!!)

 

 That is how it goes around here, well, when trying to read books with babies around LOL!!

This is how we do it - Winter Coats and Car Seat Safety

A friend of mine posted this video on facebook and it got me thinking about why I don't like winter coats and what we use for alternatives, so I thought I would share.

Now, I am not as anal about car seats as some people online are (though I actually am more than many people I know), but I figure . . . if you are going to go to the trouble, time, and expense of using car seats, then  it is pointless if you are not using them correctly!!  Education and a little bit of common sense go a long way.

As you can see in the video, those padded kids coats can cause safety issues, which is why you are supposed to take them off your child before you buckle them in their seat.  But I have never even had to think about that because I have always hated those type of coats. They are bulky (take up so much space, and I have very little extra house and car space), ugly (sorry, but they are . . . well, 'most' of them are) and often they are loud!!

So if the kids don't wear the typical bulky ugly padded coats then what do we do? 

This is how we do it.

Most of the time when we go out we are heading from the car to the  store or house etc.  so we are only out in the cold for a few minutes at the most.  We are in VA so average temps in the winter are usually around 30-40's (though we get plenty of nights down in the teens or even lower).  We live on a mountain, so we will often have weeks where the temp doesn't get above freezing up here.  If we were up in Alaska or something I may have to re-think my objection to bulky coats, LOL.  Bottom line though . . . my kids are not used to being bundled up like that so they are used to getting a bit chilly on the way to and from the car, in fact I sometimes have a hard time getting them to wear their jackets!!

Instead of wearing think padded coats we like to use layers to keep warm.  In the winter we rarely do a long sleeve shirt without a t-shirt underneath (they like the option of being able to take their long sleeve shirt off if we are someplace where they are warm).  Then, on top of the long sleeve shirt we will do a sweat shirt or hoodie or something like that.  I keep a bag of jackets in the back of the car as well, in case we get caught out and it is colder than we anticipate (or we end up outside for any extended period of time).  If we are going out and I know we will be outside where the kids will want to play, I'll either dress them in a sweater and a jacket and/or take along hats and gloves.  Even if we are going out to play in the snow, a t-shirt, with a long sleeve shirt and then a fleece hoodie etc. over that (with hat and gloves) is enough to keep them warm.  A few layers go a long way (especially paired with a hat, gloves, scarf etc.)

I also try to warm up the car before we leave the house, so that they are going from warm house to warm car (duh, I think everyone does this, LOL).  I often keep a few blankets in the car too for times when I can't warm up the car ahead of time.  It is super easy to make a warm blanket (the perfect size for covering up in the car seat) out of a double layer of flannel.  JoAnn often has flannel on sale for 50% off (and they always have coupons).  We have made several of these and they are great for the car.  Throws work well too.  So if I am unable to warm the car up before we get in, and it is extra cold, the kids can just grab a blanket to keep them warm till the heat kicks on.  And if you insist on keeping them in that bulky coat and having them take it off when they get in the car, then you can just throw that over them after they are buckled.

I wish I had a picture of all the kids in their seats on a cold day but usually, when it is cold, snapping a pic is the last thing in my mind (maybe if I had a smart phone it would be easier, but alas . . . maybe for Christmas ;0)  Here is a picture though of newborn Dagyn buckled in and ready for his first outing (before I threw the blanket over him).

Anyway, I am sure everyone has their own way of doing these things that works best for their family, but this is just how we do it ;0)